Stepping Up By Dee Kay & Roy
Stepping Up
By Dee Kay & Roy
( Follow Dee on Instagram & Follow Roy on Instagram )
“You will never understand.” I mumbled those words as I watch her walk away. With every cell of my being, I wished and prayed that she contradict every word of my statement. As at the end of the day, we wish to feel appreciated and loved by someone.
She disappeared in the crowd while I stood still retracing her footsteps. The mind was saying something while the body was declining to accept it with my gaze leading from the front. The small world of my imagination began to fade away as cruelty of this undesirable reality clinched onto me. I deserve to be happy yet we usually don’t get what we deserve, we get what we get. I stood there watching the bubble of my happiness crumble underneath me.
“Excuse me!”, someone bumped into me. I couldn’t utter anything as many walked past me without realizing the destruction that I have just witnessed. Unknown to the fact that my reality and my imagination were colliding and the chaos was consuming me yet I didn’t make a single sound. I guess some emotions don’t have a voice of their own, they just silently devolve into unbearable pain.
“How long would you stand here?”, my mind finally tried to take control of this situation. I had no answer as I felt like my limbs have frozen.
“You know you’re better than this!”, it spoke again. I just shook my head in complete disapproval.
“You will get someone much nicer than her.”, it made more efforts to make me feel a little less sad. Just when a smile began to form, it spoke again.
“Or maybe you will never find anyone like her.” I was completely baffled by the sudden turn in tone.
“She was the best thing to ever happen to you.”, it reminded me the things I believed and told her more than often.
“She was the love of your life who never could love you.”, it said enraging me.
“She does not understand the love I have for her but that does not mean I need to make her understand. She might be everything you said but I am more than you think I am. I deserve to be happy and I will fight for my happiness even if she can never be part of my life. I deserve to live.”, I screamed and screamed till the last cell within me got the message. I turned around and walked away from where she left me. I kept walking and walking till I no longer could turn back.
“You don’t need others to understand you, only you need to understand you.”, my mind mumbles softly bringing back the smile on my face.
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