“When I first told my mom, I was crying my eyes out. It took me...

“When I first told my mom, I was crying my eyes out.  It took me ten minutes to even begin speaking.  When I was finally able to say it, she told me to think more about it.  And that maybe I was uncertain.  After that it was like it never happened.  She never mentioned it.  I tried bringing it up a few weeks later, and she said something painful.  I don’t know if she meant it or not, but she told me that staying single is OK.  She gave me examples of people in our family who had never married.  It made me feel like she’d rather me be alone than gay.  I’ve decided not to push it.  I don’t want to cause a fight in my family.  I don’t want them to get our church involved.  So I’ve begun to create stories in my head about how a relationship would be impossible anyway.  I try to magnify my flaws: I’m too insecure, too jealous, too possessive.  Nobody would be attracted to me.  It makes it less painful to think about.  Like I’m not missing anything.  Because even if I could be with someone, they’d never want to be with me.”
(Hong Kong)