How Am I Blocking My Own Success?

Questions have power! 32 Questions: A Personal Quest Through Questions is my book. This is your invitation to engage with important questions to ask yourself. This week is all about Question #3 in 32 Questions: How and where am I blocking my own success and forward momentum? This question is not my favorite.  It is a question that cuts through all excuses and rationalizations and gets to the heart of it.   It takes away the “victim option” and forces us to look at our own actions and attitudes. It is painful to admit that sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. Elizabeth Gilbert says,  “your family knows what buttons to push because they installed them.”  This is true.  As individuals, we also know our own fears and insecurities better than anyone else.  We know our own buttons to push, and sometimes can push them and stop (block) ourselves without even realizing it. (It’s not only me, is it?)  We face a dilemma any time we try to move forward; start something new, break out of old habits or set our sights towards growth.  We are working with two forces: growth and inertia (the tendency to remain unchanged)  Growth says, follow your heart, explore, learn, expand.   Inertia says do not move and everything will be just fine. Inertia is really our reptilian brain.  The reptilian brain has an important task to keep us safe.  Safe can be staying in what is known, even if it is not the best thing.  Growth is moving into unknown territory and in direct conflict with the job of the reptilian brain. Both the desire for growth and our reptilian brain are part of our human wiring.   We live in paradox, two opposite forces within us, asking for our attention. No wonder life is hard! How and where am I blocking my forward momentum and success? One of my favorite methods is to rationalize why not. I am a thinker, I solve problems by thinking.  I use that skill to block myself, I will overthink anything. I can also quite easily identify all the reasons why it would be safer to just stay where I am than move forward with any growth or change.   Thinking is one way, others may use feelings a block. “I just don’t feel it.” “My heart is telling me…” We all have our preferred block method.  This question is asking us to identify our default block style.  Once we understand our natural tendency and preferred style it can be a little bit easier to spot when we start to use these tricks and tools on ourselves. It is easy to rationalize that this question is for someone else, someone more interested in success or someone working in a different job.  It is a question for all of us.  No matter what our definition of success, (which is a great thing to consider as well,) we are probably finding creative and tricky ways to “block” ourselves. Some blocks might sound like... “I don’t have time.” “Others would feel bad if I… “ “I’m not very good at…” “I don’t deserve…” “I will start tomorrow…or the day after that… ”  Defining Success… Success is a confusing word.  Success tends to get closely associated with; a big following, being wealthy or famous. I think we can take back the word and use it better. Success in the dictionary means a favorable or desired outcome.  That is a definition that has more meaning in my life.  It is a success if dinner is not burned and even better if everyone eats it without complaining.  That is a desired and favorable outcome!  Don’t write off this question because it contains the word success. Rather think about what success actually means to you. It is uncomfortable to think about the big and small ways that we block ourselves.  It forces us to be real about the ways we talk to ourselves and the things we focus on, and the things we choose not to focus on.   This question forces us to take responsibility for our own actions.  It is way easier to give others credit for blocking our success when really it could be our own thoughts and actions that provide the biggest block.  I do not like this question.  But, I am going to continue to ask it.  What about you? Enter your email to subscribe– It’s only ever used to notify you of new questions from The Art of Powering Down.

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