Thoughts on Asking for Forgiveness

So I've wronged more than a few people in my life, some of them terribly. I've had people put their hopes in me and I've crashed their hopes. I've scarred people with my words and injured them with my neglect. I wish this wasn't true, but it is. There are reasons. I'm broken, confused at times, downright defensive and scared which makes me evil and so on and so on.

Recently an old friend who I wronged years ago popped up once again to rub it in. I wondered why it was that this person simply couldn't give me forgiveness. And I realized, when I put myself in their shoes, forgiveness was a lot to ask. Nobody deserves to be forgiven for what they've done. I'm not entitled to it, for sure. But these days, I'm grateful for being given forgiveness by some, and having it withheld makes me more willing to offer it. I don't blame people for not forgiving. It's hard, and frightening and it takes time and a lot of work, unfair work.

A friend describes forgiveness as the willingness to carry a burden somebody has given you without holding it against them any longer. I thought that was a good definition. Good but not easy.

Forgiveness, though, has the power to melt an evil and broken heart. I remember watching a documentary years ago about the death penalty. A particular murderer in the documentary had to sit in a court room as his victims families read statements to him, one by one. Each family member had vindictive and angry things to say, but the man sat there stoic, unaffected. Until. A particular mother came to the podium, unfolded a piece of paper and read aloud her statement about how much she loved her daughter and how much she missed her. And then she did the unthinkable. She looked into the mans eyes and told him she forgave him. She told him she wished the best for him, that some day he could meet his maker and his evil heart would be healed and even loved.

The murderer wept. He buried his head in his hands and showed emotion for the first time during the trial.

Do you struggle with forgiveness? Do you hold grudges? Are you holding out on forgiving somebody? Do you think you could give them the forgiveness they desire? You'd be giving up a lot. You'd be giving up control. It won't be easy.

Thoughts on Asking for Forgiveness is a post from: Donald Miller's Blog