When Life Gets In The Way
I have been thinking about what should be this weeks blog post for a week. Normally, it comes to me based off of what is happening in my life. This week has been rough between my day job, writing and tutoring a friend of my daughter. Not to mention keeping up with my social media presence. It has been crazy the past week and on most nights I just want to go to bed and do nothing else. Unfortunately, that is not an option and cloning myself isn’t either. So this week's blog post is going to be about trying to get the words on the page while trying not to let the outside world get to you.
I have a stressful job. I work with special needs kids as a paraprofessional during the day. So my job can entail anything from teaching, to assisting them with writing, to getting beat up. On top of that I have to deal with adults, which in some ways can be more challenging than the kids. I am up writing hours before I go to my day job. I have been successful in the morning getting words on the page. Not as much as I had hoped but I have done about thirty pages this week. When I get off it is not so easy, I have posts and parties to catch up on and participate in. I have two kids I need to take care of, feed dinner, and drive to karate lessons. And I need time to decompress from my day as well.
The decompress time is a necessity because I hate carrying all of those stressful moments with me. I can feel the stress of the day and what I still have to do like a second skin, covering every inch of me. It makes me feel trapped and even more stressed than I was. I hate it and the results is the writing I put on the page is terrible. There are days it is hard to get the words on the page because my head is still on something that happened or some form of negativity that makes me question why I have a day job. The day job is a necessary evil, I have bills to pay, I have costs as a writer, and I have a family. I would rather spend my days living in Savannah’s world and creating but I can’t. I hope one day my writing starts pulling in money I can live off of. Right now that is not the case. So I work and write and try to be mom. Half the time I think I am failing at all of it and that scares me. What if my books never take off? Will I be told by my nonbelievers see you aren’t special enough? Will I lose my job because my true passion is writing? Will my kids look at me as a failure because I don’t spend enough time with them? What if I never get another book finished because I only do three to five pages a day. What if Savannah gives up on me and leaves? These are the worries that run through my head daily. When I find a night I can’t get on the computer to write, I spend the rest of the night worried I have failed to meet my goal.
So what do you do? How do you shut the outside world out in order to get words on the page? I’m not sure I have the full answer to this one. I feel like I am still looking for the complete answer. But here is what I am learning right now. The first part of the solution is the decompression. Now some of my decompression time is the time I spend on social media after work. I spend probably forty-five minutes responding posts, commenting on parties, and just playing catch up with my groups. I have a number of friends who have a sick sense of humor, like I do and their posts helps because they give me a good laugh. Maybe it’s a message my mom has sent me with a meme. I love the memes she sends me. They help with handling the stress.
Another thing that helps is the messages I receive from one of my best friends, Barry. Now I have talked about him before. He is one of the most creative and positive people I know. A few months ago he lost his job and was needing a pick me up, so he started messaging good morning to a bunch of different friends. Now I have no clue how many still send him good morning but I do. Most times I am up before him so I don’t get his until mid-afternoon when I get off work but it still lightens my day. I smile and it just takes some of the pressure of the day off my shoulders.
I also work out a lot to deal with the stress. It is probably why after a nice hard workout I can sit down at my computer and get a few pages done. I don’t have the stress first thing in the morning, I have later in the day. I have a clear head for Savannah to talk to me and show me her story. Maybe I need an afternoon workout as well. I wish I had the time for it.
The big thing I have learned this past week is there will be nights that I won’t do any writing, particularly on the nights I do tutoring. I need to accept that my morning hours of writing have to be okay. Getting only three or four pages done is not good enough in my eyes but it is what it is. As an author, I have other things I needed to be doing that have nothing to do with writing. One of those things is making swag. Starting this week on those two days a week, where I can’t get any writing done at night, I will be starting to work on my swag again. I am trying to get connected with book signing opportunities, so I can get a few under my belt. I have one scheduled for May 2021. Maybe I will get lucky and get in one late next year or maybe a local bookstore will let me do one. Either way, I need swag for them. So those nights will be dedicated to a different form of creating that is important as an author to have.
I also need to learn to give myself a break. There are going to be days where three or four pages is a win. I know this deep down but I still have these high standards for myself. When I fail to meet them I hate myself a little for the failure. I need to remind myself that getting words on the page is the goal even if it’s just three or four pages. It doesn’t mean I will never finish a book again it just means it will take me a little longer to do it. I am still editing on the weekends and doing my blog post. I still keep up on most of my social media stuff and I write on the weekends. It’s okay if it takes me a few more weeks to finish a book than it normally does.
The last thing I am learning is that the negative I experience during the week, I need to ignore. It’s easier said than done but I need to find a way to do it. Those negative individuals are inconsequential and I need to remember that. I need to tune them out and act as if they are static and nothing more. I have given those things too much power in my life. I have to stop doing that. The fact I am realizing I have allowed this to happen is the first step to stopping the bad behavior on my part.
So don’t let the stress of everyday life break you. Don’t let negativity stop you from doing what you love. Find ways to decompress, look at ways you can get other tasks done when you can’t write. And remember the only one who can really stop you is you. You decide what has power over you. Keep pushing because in the end it will all be worth it. Until next time!
I have a stressful job. I work with special needs kids as a paraprofessional during the day. So my job can entail anything from teaching, to assisting them with writing, to getting beat up. On top of that I have to deal with adults, which in some ways can be more challenging than the kids. I am up writing hours before I go to my day job. I have been successful in the morning getting words on the page. Not as much as I had hoped but I have done about thirty pages this week. When I get off it is not so easy, I have posts and parties to catch up on and participate in. I have two kids I need to take care of, feed dinner, and drive to karate lessons. And I need time to decompress from my day as well.
The decompress time is a necessity because I hate carrying all of those stressful moments with me. I can feel the stress of the day and what I still have to do like a second skin, covering every inch of me. It makes me feel trapped and even more stressed than I was. I hate it and the results is the writing I put on the page is terrible. There are days it is hard to get the words on the page because my head is still on something that happened or some form of negativity that makes me question why I have a day job. The day job is a necessary evil, I have bills to pay, I have costs as a writer, and I have a family. I would rather spend my days living in Savannah’s world and creating but I can’t. I hope one day my writing starts pulling in money I can live off of. Right now that is not the case. So I work and write and try to be mom. Half the time I think I am failing at all of it and that scares me. What if my books never take off? Will I be told by my nonbelievers see you aren’t special enough? Will I lose my job because my true passion is writing? Will my kids look at me as a failure because I don’t spend enough time with them? What if I never get another book finished because I only do three to five pages a day. What if Savannah gives up on me and leaves? These are the worries that run through my head daily. When I find a night I can’t get on the computer to write, I spend the rest of the night worried I have failed to meet my goal.
So what do you do? How do you shut the outside world out in order to get words on the page? I’m not sure I have the full answer to this one. I feel like I am still looking for the complete answer. But here is what I am learning right now. The first part of the solution is the decompression. Now some of my decompression time is the time I spend on social media after work. I spend probably forty-five minutes responding posts, commenting on parties, and just playing catch up with my groups. I have a number of friends who have a sick sense of humor, like I do and their posts helps because they give me a good laugh. Maybe it’s a message my mom has sent me with a meme. I love the memes she sends me. They help with handling the stress.
Another thing that helps is the messages I receive from one of my best friends, Barry. Now I have talked about him before. He is one of the most creative and positive people I know. A few months ago he lost his job and was needing a pick me up, so he started messaging good morning to a bunch of different friends. Now I have no clue how many still send him good morning but I do. Most times I am up before him so I don’t get his until mid-afternoon when I get off work but it still lightens my day. I smile and it just takes some of the pressure of the day off my shoulders.
I also work out a lot to deal with the stress. It is probably why after a nice hard workout I can sit down at my computer and get a few pages done. I don’t have the stress first thing in the morning, I have later in the day. I have a clear head for Savannah to talk to me and show me her story. Maybe I need an afternoon workout as well. I wish I had the time for it.
The big thing I have learned this past week is there will be nights that I won’t do any writing, particularly on the nights I do tutoring. I need to accept that my morning hours of writing have to be okay. Getting only three or four pages done is not good enough in my eyes but it is what it is. As an author, I have other things I needed to be doing that have nothing to do with writing. One of those things is making swag. Starting this week on those two days a week, where I can’t get any writing done at night, I will be starting to work on my swag again. I am trying to get connected with book signing opportunities, so I can get a few under my belt. I have one scheduled for May 2021. Maybe I will get lucky and get in one late next year or maybe a local bookstore will let me do one. Either way, I need swag for them. So those nights will be dedicated to a different form of creating that is important as an author to have.
I also need to learn to give myself a break. There are going to be days where three or four pages is a win. I know this deep down but I still have these high standards for myself. When I fail to meet them I hate myself a little for the failure. I need to remind myself that getting words on the page is the goal even if it’s just three or four pages. It doesn’t mean I will never finish a book again it just means it will take me a little longer to do it. I am still editing on the weekends and doing my blog post. I still keep up on most of my social media stuff and I write on the weekends. It’s okay if it takes me a few more weeks to finish a book than it normally does.
The last thing I am learning is that the negative I experience during the week, I need to ignore. It’s easier said than done but I need to find a way to do it. Those negative individuals are inconsequential and I need to remember that. I need to tune them out and act as if they are static and nothing more. I have given those things too much power in my life. I have to stop doing that. The fact I am realizing I have allowed this to happen is the first step to stopping the bad behavior on my part.
So don’t let the stress of everyday life break you. Don’t let negativity stop you from doing what you love. Find ways to decompress, look at ways you can get other tasks done when you can’t write. And remember the only one who can really stop you is you. You decide what has power over you. Keep pushing because in the end it will all be worth it. Until next time!
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