A little Chrismukkah gift: sneak preview of Nine Uses For An Ex-Boyfriend

Happy Holidays, lovely readers!

Taking time out from my busy schedule of eating, quaffing, watching TV and more eating to post a teensy excerpt from Nine Uses For An Ex-Boyfriend I have had quite a lot of sparkly pop so I hope this works!

And I hope you're all having the best of times. That you're well-fed, well-loved and well-happy, innit.

Live on

Sarra x

NINE USES FOR AN EX-BOYFRIEND – EXCERPT

It was obvious it wasn't the first time that Hope's boyfriend and her best friend had kissed. It also looked, to the casual observer, as if they usually did more than kiss when they weren't on a clock or running the risk of being discovered.

Hope could hear the wet clash of their mouths and Jack's groans as Susie stroked him, and she didn't know why she was simply standing there when she should have been charging out of the back door and shrieking something along the lines of, "What the hell are you two doing? You utter, utter bastards!"

Jack and Susie were illuminated beautifully in the glare of the light sensor that Jack's Dad had fitted on the outside wall to scare off the foxes that kept scavenging through their bins and Hope had a perfect view of Jack's hand threaded in Susie's glossy black hair so her beautiful face was upturned, his other hand making strange, contorted shapes under her silk Catherine Malandrino camisole. If she squinted extra hard she was sure she could even see the tangle of tongues as they kissed as if they were starring in their own porn film.

Jack never kisses me like that anymore, Hope thought to herself as she stood on the steps that led from their tiny kitchen to their tiny back garden. Hasn't done for ages and ages. Not since they'd been teenagers snogging furiously in the no man's land between their respective houses, ten minutes after Hope's curfew had ended. But Hope would never have shoved her hands down the front of Jack's jeans in those days, as Susie was doing now, and if Jack had tried to touch her breasts under the clothes, Hope would have screamed loud enough to wake her parents, if her parents had actually been asleep instead of staying awake until their only daughter was safely tucked up in her single bed.

And still Hope stood there as if her feet had taken root, hands lifted to her mouth to mute any noise she might make. The scent of garlic clinging to her fingers made her stomach heave and oh God… Her childhood sweetheart, the boy she'd been with for half her lifetime, her one true love, the man she was meant to be with forever and ever and ever, amen, was passionately and furiously kissing her best friend.

How could they?