Real Life Diagnostics: Is This Rewrite Working?

Critique By Maria D'Marco

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines. 

Submissions currently in the queue: Zero

Please Note: As of today, RLD slots are open.

This week’s question:

1. Is this rewrite working?

Market/Genre: Middle Grade Science Fiction

On to the diagnosis…
Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com