What to Say to Someone Who Has Experienced Miscarriage / Infant Loss

The director led me from the green room and onto the talk show’s set, where I was greeted warmly by the show’s host. In moments we would be live across the nation, and I was already on high alert.

Yet nothing could have prepared me for what came next.

The show host looked into the camera and introduced me: “Pam Vredevelt is with us today. Pam is a professional counselor and the author of Empty Arms: Hope and Support for Those Who Have Suffered Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Tubal Pregnancy.”

Then he turned to me and said, “Pam, you talk about miscarriage and stillbirth in your book, almost as if someone has died.”

I was stunned.

Almost as if someone has died?

Did he really just say that?!

Gathering my wits, I replied carefully, “Yes, that’s right. Someone precious did die. Our baby.”

I don’t believe that the intention behind that statement was malicious, but the words packed a hefty punch nonetheless. More than likely, the host just didn’t know much about the topic or hadn’t given careful thought to what he wanted to say.

Unfortunately, unintentionally hurtful words said to those who are grieving are more common than many of us realize. And I’m doing what I can to reverse that trend.

Continue Reading at Focus on the Family.com

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