Today I looked in the mirror and… | 58 of 90

Today I was forced into a situation I didn’t want to be in. Please watch below.

 

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Today I bared a part of myself that I never wanted anyone in public to see because I’ve always been incredibly embarrassed and ashamed by it. It’s amazing how doing the one thing you’re so afraid of, makes you realize how NOT scary it actually is. I hope you face your fears my friends. I know it’s terrifying, but trust me, once you survive it (and you will!!!) you’re going to be living life on a whole ‘nother level of possibility. #blogilates

A post shared by Cassey Ho (@blogilates) on Oct 13, 2019 at 12:42am PDT

I’ve always been ashamed of my belly. Only a couple times in my life has it ever had any resemblance of a “fitness trainer’s body.” The rest of the time, my soft belly gets people either:

Praising me for looking “normal”
Shaming me for not looking fit enough to be a instructor
Doubting that my programs even work

*sigh*

As you can see, it makes it hard to love yourself when people insist that your body isn’t a good reflection of your profession or your willpower.

But today, I took off my shirt and began to shatter the resent I held for my belly. I realized that there was no need to disrespect my body just because others didn’t appreciate it. Like, who cares what people think!!! Like actually – WHO CARES. And if they do, at least you’re important enough for them to be talking about right!?

I KNOW that my physical shell does not define how strong I am! Sure, life would be easier if I had a body that actually reflected my hard work, but you know what, you can’t have everything. And I am beginning to be okay with that.

I will tell you straight out that this is the BEGINNING of a self love journey for me and my belly. If I am being realistic, I can tell you that I will still be self conscious and I will still feel weird about wearing a sports bra in public by choice, but I know that the more I do it, the less scary it will be. Today was day 1 for me, my belly and our ever-evolving self love journey.

What part of your body are you insecure about? How do you plan on beginning your self love journey for it?

Yesterday’s Recap:

Fit Journal entry. Yesterday was the shoot. I was running on 3 hrs of sleep. There was no workout. Just standing all day. My lower back really hurts! Got a massage today though and I feel better.

BREAKFAST:

10% carbs, 65% fat, 25% protein

230 calories

Spinach and bell pepper egg white egg bites from Costco! Tastes just like the ones from Starbucks but cheaper! Yay! Had this at 7:30AM because I knew the shoot would get crazy as soon as I got there.

LUNCH:

17% carbs, 62% fat, 21% protein

779 calories

For lunch, we catered from Chipotle! SO FUN. I made myself 2 bowls. One was a chicken salad with guac, pico de gallo and chipotle honey vinaigrette dressing, and the other was sofritas over salad and corn.

DINNER:

33% carbs, 49% fat, 19% protein

689 calories

As soon as we got home from the shoot, I pulled out whatever leftovers I had in the fridge for a quick meal. I found cauliflower rice, ground turkey, lox, and then had it with a side of romaine lettuce and chipotle honey vinaigrette.

I ended dinner with a kombucha.

The day came in at 1,698 calories and 22% carbs (96g), 57% fat (111g), and 21% protein (89g).

Once again, meal timing is just FAILING right now. My dinners are so late. I need to figure this out. But now that the shoot is done, I am hoping I will have more time for myself. But I still need to make the Halloween costumes…prep some intense scripts for cool videos I have coming up…and we’re planning our first ever POWERGIRLS Retreat in less than a month…oh dear…this never ends!!! But who’s the blame? ME. So I’m not complaining.

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