Tip #2 for joyful conversations with Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. Enjoy, no matter what the current space or reality

We never questioned anything my mom said. Correcting someone with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia, for instance about where they are, what year it is, whether you visited yesterday or not, causes them to feel confused, scared, irritated, worried, annoyed. If you go with them whatever they say or wherever their current reality takes you, everyone can enjoy the ride.

My mom was wheelchair bound for some time, but once she told me she and my boys blew bubbles at the beach that morning, something they had done ten years earlier in another state. All I said was what fun they all must have had, and she smiled and said they had.

When my teenager was learning to drive, I mentioned how hard it was these days to learn with a stick shift, because so few cars have them. My mom brightened and said, “My car is a stick shift. He’s welcome to borrow it.” Instead of telling her she hadn’t driven in years and that car was long gone, I said, “Thank you, I’ll let him know.” She beamed, knowing she was helping.

This fooled us once with my father-in-law. He told my husband and me that there were chickens out in back of his assisted living home. We went along with the story, and he told us about how they pecked the ground and each other and we enjoyed the tale, knowing full well there were no chickens. Eventually he asked us if we wanted to see them. We said sure and we all trooped out back, and low and behold, there were actually chickens!

So enjoy the journey of your loved one’s current space. You might be surprised at what fun it is for all.