Overwhelming Task of Writing

I have been dragging myself all over the floor, all over this space I share with my son, and in doing so I have come to the grand conclusion that I need to hold myself to a higher esteem!

I say this as I have not meditated when I woke up, have allowed myself to fall back to sleep after my alarm went off (an alarm I’ve set on purpose last night with the intention of being an early bird), and I am laying here playing clickity-clackity on my laptop. It’s not an arduous thing to do, I just had a goal to do it earlier is all. I failed that mission already. I instead wake up at 9:35 AM and check emails for…the same things I’ve been checking it for.

I stall. I procrastinate. I put it off. However you want to say it, that is me, that is what I am doing. I am that writer. Shame on me!

Although I have started work on my latest novel, and even wrote a few short pieces for production sake, I still tap out at a certain word count. It didn’t help that my father passed away, but that cannot be a valid excuse for me past this weekend that has come and gone.

Writing is something I enjoy. I love it, I really do. It brings me peace, it excites me, and allows me to use my brain to create imaginary situations and beings of my choosing! However, that juice only extends so far in a day for me. My brain isn’t used to me writing for longer than an hour or two a day, yet now that I have a lot more free-time, I should be writing a lot more, correct? Not exactly.

So what’s holding me back from fulfilling my duty as a writer (so-called)?

Myself.

As always.

I have to relearn how to plan. I am usually not a planner when it comes to my writing time, but it appears that I must try a new method if I’m to take myself seriously. And yes, I only care about what I think about myself at this stage. And maybe other authors and writers. And readers. I have to really set a time for myself to get this done. Even then I have to learn this thing called accountability when it is all said and done, as far as writing is concerned.

And writing for me isn’t a challenge. That’s not the issue here.

I just have to really get myself back into a healthy head space for it is all. Be inspired. Get out of my house maybe? Whatever it takes (that’s legal). So, that’s why I’m writing this entry here, to get myself back into the groove of consistent writing. This is the first step for me. A welcoming stone, if you will.

Alarm: set.