(½) “I told her right at the beginning. I think it was...

(½)  “I told her right at the beginning.  I think it was our third date.  I said: ‘Carol, you need to know I have leukemia and a serious kidney disease.’  I just wanted to be fair and honest.  Carol had so many commitments already.  She was a widow.  She had a daughter.  She had elderly parents.  I didn’t want to saddle her with expectations that I’m looking for someone to take care of me.  I didn’t want to be a burden.  So I kept our relationship formal for a long time.  I’d just check-in and see how she was doing.  At first I was always looking for signals that it was too much for her.  That I was too much of a burden.  But we’ve been together for a long time now, so I don’t worry about that much anymore.  I still try to give her space.  We call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, which might seem a bit silly when you’re 68.  But we live in different houses.  We do our own laundry.  Some nights we cook dinner for each other.  Other nights we go to shows and museums.  Every year we try to take one big vacation.  We’re actually in Amsterdam because we’re leaving on a Baltic cruise tomorrow.  All these things are real blessings for me.  I’ve already lived longer than the doctors predicted, so I’m just trying to enjoy each day.  If I can just enjoy myself, then it’s enough for me.  Especially if I can help Carol enjoy herself too.”
(Amsterdam, The Netherlands)