“Is it fun being you?” … (why I asked that)

Nessa and Edith — definitely fun being. (Photo by B)

I suspect most teachers have certain questions they use as conversation starters (especially on a 1:1 basis). One of mine was: “Can I ask you a personal question?” If they said no or hesitated, I said, “Okay, fine.” Nine times out of ten, those recalcitrant ones would say, “Never mind. What is it?” Most of my students just said, “Sure.” My follow-up was: “Is it fun being you?” The emotionally resilient would assure me that it was; my rejoinder: “Really? I don’t see the pleasure in it.” (I loved to kid around.) To those unsure of an answer, I tried to be more sensitive.

Why did I say that? I don’t think it was a full-blown strategy—more like an intuition. Isn’t it supposed to be? To me that is one of the fundamental questions of our existence. Another way to word it is: “Do you enjoy the life that you’ve been given?” There is in our post-Christian world an insinuation of an angry and vengeful God (I know you can find it in the Bible—you can find everything in the Bible!) He doesn’t mete out our lives to us in little spoons—it is a banquet! So here is my thesis (geez, why do I keep doing that?): If it is not fun being you, something has gone wrong.

Am I wrong to think that it is supposed to be fun? I immediately recognize the countless souls born into unhappy, sordid, inhumane circumstances. On the issue of suffering, I have no answers, except that Jesus will make it better than it is. But for some of us, our circumstances become an excuse rather than a reason. How much of our discontent is self-imposed? That takes a little introspection, which is a good thing. I am absolutely certain that it is supposed to be fun to be me—and that is a matter of faith, observation and response.

Is it fun being me? Yes. Why? Because I have people I love more than myself. Because I am glad I was created. Because I am learning to love my Creator. Because my life, in retrospect, is an adventurous journey. Because I don’t know what is going to happen next—but I trust. How fun!

What if you don’t think it is (fun being you)? Then change! (See my last essay…) I go back to my thesis: something has gone wrong. It doesn’t have to be this way. Be analytical—why isn’t it fun being you? Be optimistic—you can make it more fun to be you. Be realistic—God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the strength to change the things I can. Be grateful—realize that life is a gift.

What if you’re not sure (if it’s fun being you)? Then find out! One of my favorite Dylan quotes: “He not busy being born is busy dying.” (My alltime favorite President—Carter—used it in his inauguration speech.) Get busy being born! Try new things. Trust your instincts. Look outward and be still inward. Listen. Breathe.

As I said, it drives me crazy when we Christians depict God as being disapproving or uptight or, worst of all, selective in His affections. Or when we put ideology above love. You name the axis of opposition: Democrat v. Republican, pro-life v. pro-choice, straight v. gay, criminal v. victim, Cowboys v. Saints—God has no favorites. Yeah, I know, God hates sin—He fixed that. Sin is our problem, not His, because it separates us from Him. He does not expect us to go out into the world looking for sin to take down—there is plenty of that in our own hearts. He wants us to go into the world looking to love—just like He did. And if you, personally, are able to maintain that vision—I guarantee, without a doubt, 100%, absolutely certain—it will be fun being you.

Addendum: I always share my essays with my wife before I publish them. She reacted rather strongly to this one. She felt I was “looking at life through rose-colored glasses”—ignoring mental illness, depression, circumstances, tragedy. I admit I glossed over that in one brief paragraph about suffering. I am acutely aware (now) that the Bible makes frequent mention of trials, endurance, hardship, testing of our faith, and yes, pain. Obviously, we don’t stroll through those times whistling about how fun it is to be us. So, perhaps, an “appreciation of life” would be a more appropriate term than “fun.” But dang, I can’t get by my central point—God wants us to enjoy the life He has given us. For that, I am thankful.

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