Overcoming the Fear of the "Right Choice"
Do you have a choice that you are scared to death of making? I do. A few of them, actually. After all, every choice we have made has gotten us to where we are now. And every choice is taking us to where we’ll be in the future. Sometimes, that thought is empowering: If I got myself here, I can get myself somewhere else. Other times, it’s overwhelming. “What if, what if, what if???”
When I started LindseyBacken.com, I was bringing two sites together, combining my site for writers with my site for my readers. But now, like in life, I have so many options! What do I want to say? Where do I want to go with my life? If I tell you about one thing, am I going to confuse you when I start writing about a different topic? Yes, I am a writer and I love writing novels. I also love acting. Right now, I juggling publishing a novel with working a job, getting ready to direct a 1940’s dinner theater, and building an online buisness while simultaneously studying how the fifteen years of inflammation that I have lived with might actually have been caused by the signals given off by my phone and laptop. Do I write about those things? I’m so excited about some of them - and also scared.
Because with all our choices and goals comes doubt. How many things have you or I started in the past that just kind of—fizzled? Some felt like blowing embers of a dying fire and watching in dismay as the last spark goes, some felt like a blaze that got out of hand and left us burned. And scared. I mean, if you failed once at X, what makes you think you can do Y? Our thoughts can change our lives but they can also wreck havoc in them.
But stop. Let’s think about this. If you were a roaring success at everything you ever decided to try, you’d have a hard time making a go of anything. At least I would. I would live my life like a firefly, lighting up here, then darting over there to spark, then going another place. I could shine at everything, but I wouldn’t stick with anything. Trying things and deciding we don’t want to do them, or finding we’re really not cut out for them doesn’t mean we’re failures. We can modify it. We can scrap it and try another thing. You’re building a house: if you pick your boards at random, not every board will fit. Not every board even should.
When you are doing what you love, what you are best at, it’s not always going to be easy. But when things aren’t easy, you are forced to evaluate if they are worth it. When we find that thing that is worth the discomfort required to learn and grow it, we know it is part of our true selves.
So whatever your doing tonight, keep on. Or stop. Do that thing you know in your heart of hearts that you were meant to do. Don’t know what it is? Neither do I - exactly. But we’ll find it together. I believe in you.
Love,
Lindsey
