What I’m Reading: In Pursuit of an Emerald

I’ve got four amazing kids. I know, every parent says their
kids are amazing. They’re probably right. I don’t know their kids, but I know
mine. They are amazing. This isn’t to say they’re perfect. I can’t say I agree
with all of their life choices or beliefs. And while those things matter to me
and I spend time in prayer for them every day, my kids don’t have to be perfect
to be amazing.

It amazes me how different they are from each other. There
are physical traits linking them together, some more than others. There are
looks and attitudes they have that mirror each other. But they are each very
much their own person. They grew up in the same house. Their father and I had
the same set of core beliefs we tried to instill in each one. But they still turned
out remarkably different from each other, and I find that amazing.

Two are athletic. Two couldn’t care less about sports of any
kind. All of them are creative though two focus more on the written word, one
focuses on music and art, and one tends to put it all together. One is book
smart, given to the role of student. The others are just as smart but not given
to the strict structure of a traditional classroom. One has a natural talent to
business that the others don’t possess. One is completely organized making
lists while another flies by the seat of his pants. They are each their own
unique person, and I love them for it.

A parent’s love and parenting style is as varied and complex
as their children. Each child’s personality plays a role in how a parent
chooses to encourage and discipline them. But a parent’s past can also make a
difference in how they approach parenting. 
Just ask Viollette McMillan, the main character from Jacqueline Freeman
Wheelock’s book In Pursuit of an Emerald.

Viollette has a lot to overcome, not the least of which is
parenting her child when her child believes Viollette is her older sister and
not her mother. Emerald’s childhood years were spent as a slave on a plantation
before the Civil War made her and Viollette free. Viollette’s decision to pass
her daughter off as her younger sister was born of a desire for safety for both
of them, but it has come with a hefty price of guilt.

As Viollette and Emerald struggle to learn what it means to
be free in the post-Civil War south, they fight fear of the past, concern for
the future, and long held prejudices. They even find it difficult knowing who
to trust. Though it’s supposed to be a new world for them, many negative
attitudes from the past still burn in those who could do them great harm.

While learning to navigate the confusing times, Viollette
yearns for the mother-daughter relationship to grow between her and Emerald.
Stretching her wings as an adolescent, Emerald equally wants the mother she
doesn’t think she can have and the ability to think and act for herself.
Secrets and regret often cloud Viollette’s attempts to parent her child. She
wants what’s best for Emerald. Everything she does is to better Emerald’s
future, but the past keeps all the dreams she has for her child out of reach. With
everything falling apart around her, Viollette has to face the past and embrace
truth if she’s ever going to realize the dreams she has for the daughter who
means so much to her.

By the Book: Parents, even the most well-meaning Christian
parents, make mistakes. Our past experiences color the way we see the world and
often impact the way we raise our children. Our sins, both those we’ve sought
forgiveness for and those we have yet to purge from our lives, can create
difficult circumstances to overcome in our efforts to be the best parents we
can be. The influence of society can also be a roadblock to effective, godly
parenting by telling us we need to do this or avoid that without any respect to
what God tells us about the same subjects. But through His word, God’s given us
what we need to be godly parents. He’s given us His Spirit to guide us in our
decisions if we’ll listen to Him. And when we mess up, isn’t it great to know
we are covered by grace and mercy? Our parenting mistakes can’t hurt our
children beyond God’s ability to set things right. And if we have a heart to
raise our children according to His word, God will be faithful to show us how
best to parent each of our amazing children.