Week 4 Weigh-In | Day 29 of 90

It’s that time again!

I literally cannot believe we are almost at my 1 month check-in which is scheduled for September 15. That is in 2 days. That’s going to be a whole measuring tape situation! I’ve never really measured myself for progress before (usually just weight and body fat %) so it will be interesting to see what the numbers look like. I don’t think I’ll be happy or sad if the numbers go up or down because I really do feel amazing right now. WOW. Just being able to say that tells me that my mental wellness and the love I have for my body has progressed so much from where I was post-bikini competition several years ago.

Before we get to the numbers, I’d like to share a non scale victory first!

My efficiency was at an all time high this morning! I woke up and went to my weight lifting class at 7:15am, then went home thinking I wouldn’t be able to shoot a video – but then ended up actually shooting the video because Sam and I fixed a technical issue together, then I drove to Blogi HQ to oversee our new contractors installing a new window. That all happened before 12pm!

WHOO!!!

Now, to the WEEK 4 WEIGH-IN!

Oh my goodness! This week’s hard work is paying off. I am 1.2 lbs down from last week. But the most exciting part is that I am 0.7% down for body fat and 0.1% UP for muscle mass! AHHH that is nuts! I honestly can’t believe my body is responding!

After years of metabolic damage due to a super restricted diet, nothing, and I mean NOTHING worked. Sometimes eating salad made me gain weight and sometimes eating pizza made me lose weight. Nothing made sense. My body was malfunctioning. So, I just had to give myself time to heal. I did that by allowing myself to eat whatever I wanted for a few years. Eventually, my body found it’s balance again.

That’s -5.6 lbs down from August 16 (29 days) or -7.4 lbs from the beginning (33 days)! The coolest part is that my muscle mass is steadily increasing as my body fat decreases. All those strength training and weight lifting exercises paired with the cardio is doing it’s job.

This progress is so motivating you guys. I love when you can see and FEEL your hard work…WORKING. My energy is higher, my mood is better, and overall I’m feeling so strong and confident. Even running is not so terrible right now! (Never thought I’d say that!) I mean I don’t love it, but it doesn’t scare me as much. I am so pleased that what I am experimenting with is harmonizing with my body.

EEEeeeeeEEEeeEeEeee!!!!

Yesterday’s recap:

I started off the day by taking a new class called “Trampoline Trim”. I am not like agile on the trampoline AT ALL (I look like a struggling oompa loompa) but the instructor made it fun and the moves def got my heart rate up!

I took class a little later than usual so by the time I got home (we work from home on Thursdays and Fridays), it was pretty much lunch time! I decided to make it a Taco Thursday for me and Sam!

This is what I used as my tortilla. These are egg thins and I got them from Costco. They def don’t taste like tortillas, in fact they don’t really taste like much, and when they say thin – they mean THIN. Like maybe 1/3 the thickness of a crepe? But – they make a wonderful sub for a tortilla! So even though I sounded like I was complaining, I wasn’t complaining :)

I ended up having twice as much as you see on this plate, and then some! The tacos are filled with butter lettuce, ground turkey, and homemade guacamole. On the side, I made shishito peppers with furikake. Guys, I legit love shishito peppers SO MUCH. They’re selling them at Trader Joe’s right now. GO BUY IT UP!!!

Closeup of my chunky guac.

As a post lunch drink, I mixed my matcha collagen with almond milk. So good. It truly feels like a treat! I sipped on this as I was writing a script for one of my upcoming non-workout videos.

When I write, I also like to snack, so HELLO chili roasted pistachios! We meet again! Hi George! No you can’t have some. But mummy will give you a cashew. (Side note: George gets more excited about nuts than he does about meat treats.)

For dinner, I had a weird combo of food that some of you may find unappetizing but I liked it :) That’s cauliflower rice topped with my homemade chunky guac, bacon, 2 soft boiled eggs, and a whole ton of sriracha! YUMMMMMM.

To end the night I made tea for both Sam and I. I decided to pull out our Mr. and Mrs. cups from the wedding! I can’t believe that on Oct 6th we will have been married for one entire year! We haven’t even gone on our honeymoon yet! But don’t worry – I think we will do it early next year. There’s just a lot of stuff we’re dealing with in regards to our businesses that would make me feel very uneasy if we left right now. So, better to stay put and leave when my mind isn’t going crazy.

Week 4 recap page in my Fit journal.

I want to specifically point out the thing that I need to stop. I need to stop letting the negative comments affect me so much. Like I wrote above in my journal, I am struggling with this.

I will give myself credit for not crying and not feeling bad about myself when I read the comments, but some of the stuff that is bring directed at me is bothering me A LOT. I don’t know if you’re sick of hearing about this but because my blog is my therapeutic practice, I need to honestly write how I feel, because a part of me feels unwell.

I grew up a people pleaser and someone who bends backwards for other people’s happiness, so I’m not good at NOT caring what other people say and think about me. Yes, I started this 90 day challenge saying I wouldn’t care – but of course I care. I am a caring person. I just…care too much. I honor feedback and I take criticisms to heart. That is how I improve in my daily work. But…these comments are just really getting to me. And I need to find a way to not let them. To be honest with you, I’m having a hard time doing that. Especially because I am being so open, so transparent, and so vulnerable – whenever someone tells me I’m doing a bad thing – it kinda feels, well, it feels like this:

Imagine putting on your best dress, your finest jewels, doing your makeup all pretty, then walking downstairs to surprise your boyfriend. Instead of telling you how lovely you look, he turns around, looks you up and down, and tells you that you look embarrassing and that you need to go back upstairs to change.

I don’t know what that feeling is, but that’s how I feel when I read some of these comments. I thought they would stop after a while, but they’re still coming. Something that I notice too is that the harshest comments are currently coming from YouTube. So far my Facebook comments and my Instagram comments grown to be more understanding. The blog comments from you guys are usually smart, positive and insightful. But I don’t know what it is with YouTube. Is it because I haven’t posted a video about my 90 day journey and people are just seeing my status updates and reading into the headlines without reading the blog post it links to? Maybe YouTube subscribers are used to watching, not reading, so they’re mad because I haven’t explained what all this is in a format of entertainment that they are used to?

If you could help me to better understand and to better communicate with the POPsters on YouTube – I’d love to hear your ideas. I hope when we revisit the recap page next week that I will be struggling less with this. But to be honest with you, the hardest part of my 90 day journey hasn’t been the food, the workouts, or even weighing myself…it’s been the comments.

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