Lemonheads do not lead to interdimensional children taking you hostage, just so we’re clear.

52. Sour Candy – Kealan Patrick Burke

You can’t react perfectly all the time – and in this case, it will cost you quite a bit to show even a hint of recognition.

In this novella, noticing a small child in a grocery store ruined a man’s life and brought him into contact with some creepy antler beasts. And of course, the child won’t let him eat or leave or talk to anyone or call the police and report being held hostage by a terrifying, whiny, otherworldly child. Parenting, am I right? Well, no, I’m not for two reasons: 1. That wasn’t his child! He just invaded and took over! Evil child. 2. I will never parent a human. Never! And I now know that ignoring human children while in stores is a reasonable choice if I wish to avoid netherworldly responsibility.

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Taking care of Finny is the kind of netherworldly responsibility I accepted. Willingly.