Why is it ok for men to lose weight, but not women? | Day 11 of 90

On Sunday, I met up with a couple friends for a 7:45am weight lifting class (Sam came too, yay!) and then we ended up having a pretty deep post-workout conversation.

My friend Jason Chen (he’s an awesome OG singer on YouTube) and I were talking very candidly about our goals. When I first announced that I wanted to get super fit on my 90 Day Journey, he wrote me and said that I inspired him and that he wanted to do it too! Hence why we met up for weight lifting class at 7:45am on a Sunday.

He was asking me about how things were going and I told him about all the controversy I was experiencing over wanting to lose some weight and shed some fat. He was genuinely astonished. He said that whenever he announces that he wants to lean down, it’s never become a “thing”. His community either applauds him or they scroll right by. No negativity whatsoever. No “you already look good, why are you doing this?” comments. No “it means you don’t love your body” assumptions.

Last week, I was also talking to another friend who texted me about my feature in Women’s Health. “Fitness IG Star Cassey Ho is on a 90 Day Weight Loss Challenge – And People Have Feelings.” The title itself already primes one to think I’m doing something bad.

Then she said just after a few scrolls, we saw a link to a Men’s Health article applauding a man for basically doing the same exact thing. “This Guy Reined in His Diet to Lose 30 Pounds and Get Shredded.”

The article begins with the man saying that “stepping on a scale drove home just how far downhill he’d gotten. At his heaviest, he was about 207 pounds.” Hmm sound familiar??? The corporate life was apparently taking a toll on him, affecting his overall appearance and his health. He said he looked like a “blimp.” So what did he do about it? He went on a new diet and committed to a “rigorous workout plan” which helped him lose 30 pounds in 17 weeks.

I don’t think it is a coincidence that both our journeys started with us stepping on the scale and realizing we needed to make a change. But I find it absolutely sexist that my decision to lose weight and shred fat is considered “disappointing” while his is being celebrated.

I mean, think about it. Women can’t do anything without being judged for how they look – even when it DOESN’T MATTER. Female athletes for example, often get comments on their outfits instead of their achievements. Same with women in politics. Same with women in business. And the sad part is, not only are we being judged by men – some of our harshest critics are own fellow females.

From what I’ve observed, I don’t see men judging other men on how the look. If they lose weight, no big deal. If they gain weight, no big deal.

If I lose weight, all of a sudden I’m “not body positive” and a “bad influence on women”. If I gain weight, all of a sudden I’m “too fat to be a fitness trainer.”

Why? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because we were brought up to pay so much attention to our looks from the beginning. Makeup. Push-up bras. Shaving. Small waists. Comparing ourselves to the prettiest girl in class or the hottest actress on TV. Maybe it’s a weird insecure human-behavior thing that falsely makes us believe that by bringing other women down, we can bring ourselves up?

I don’t think that behavior is representative of POPsters – so I’m grateful for the kind, amazing, and encouraging women who make up the Blogilates community. I whole heartedly believe that some of the criticism that I got for starting the 90 day Challenge came from a place of genuine concern for my health and for other women suffering from eating disorders and body image disorders. The rest of it, I’d categorize as people being angry at me and not respecting the decisions that I am making for my OWN BODY.

Why do you think men and women are judged so differently when it comes to weight loss and weight gain?

DAY 10 RECAP:

Sunday was a glorious day! I woke up and weight lifted with Sam and 2 friends! Then I took Sir George to my favorite groomer (she specializes in Japanese style dog haircuts) and asked her to give Sir the biggest ballin’ ball style head she could.

And look…

I’M DEAD.

THIS. IS. PERFECTION.

If you guys look at my IG feed, all you’re gonna see is every kind of ball head Japanese dog. I am obsessed with dogs from Japan because I’ve never seen anyone treat a dog’s haircut with as much precision and artistry as Japanese groomers. I’ve been working really hard to grow Sir’s hair longer and thicker so that his ball head can be huger and huger. The bigger the ball, the better :P

While I was waiting for Sir’s hair to be all done up (3-4 hrs they said), I took a dance class and did work on my phone!

Next, for lunch I made tacos. Sam had regular tortillas. I swapped mine for butter lettuce. Inside there is ground turkey, pico de gallo, roasted peppers, fresh homemade guacamole, and a little bit of mozzarella cheese on top. These were AMAZING.

For dinner, I attempted to make my own baba ganoush! I was really scared it was going to taste weird (I had never made it before) but to my total surprise – IT WAS DELICIOUS!!! I used this recipe from Cookie + Kate.

INGREDIENTS

2 pounds Italian eggplants (about 2 small-to-medium eggplants*)
2 medium cloves of garlic, pressed or minced
2 tablespoons lemon juice, more if necessary
¼ cup tahini
⅓ cup extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for brushing the eggplant and garnish
2 tablespoons chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley, plus extra for garnish
¾ teaspoon salt, to taste
¼ teaspoon ground cumin
Pinch of smoked paprika, for garnish

I now have baba ganoush for the rest of the week! WHOOOO!!!

The day was also glorious because Sam and I made dinner together! I asked him to zoodle the zucchini and he totally killed it. 2 fresh zucchinis for him and 2 more me. We patted the zoodles down with paper towels so many times – pre and post sautéing but they were still really wet. I wonder if we need to eat them raw? I’ll need to look up some zoodling techniques.

I also made some roasted chicken drumsticks! Yum! Dinner was sort of a mix between middle eastern and Italian? Whatever. It was good!!!

Oh, but you know what was NOT good?

I tried out this vanilla flavored MCT Oil powder that a company sent me and I mixed it with almond milk. It tasted pretty weird. It tasted fake-sweet. I hate fake-sweet. I’d rather not have any sweetness at all. I’ll report back to you guys once I figure out how to use this. So far, no luck!

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