'If we had some eggs, we could have some ham and eggs, if we had some ham' . Al Johnson goes to Berlin

I read in bafflement the ecstatic accounts of Al Johnson���s visit to Berlin.  I suspect he may be baffled too. Chancellor Angela Merkel is alleged to have ���held out the prospect of a new deal��� if the People���s Hero, Boar-iss, can come up with a solution to the Northern Irish backstop.

 

That���s a jolly ���if���. I mean, a solution to the backstop surely depends on finding another Parliament to vote on it. Which is unlikely within 30 days. 

 

Their optimistic tone reminds me of some favourite old-fashioned English music-hall mockery of conditional optimism, large heaps of hope built upon that little word ���if���.

 

���.such as ���If we had some eggs, we could have some ham and eggs, if we had some ham���. And ���With a ladder and some glasses, you could see the Hackney Marshes, if it wasn���t for the houses in between���. (Chorus repeats: ���In between!���) .

 

As for the strange praise given to Al for quoting auf Deutsch Frau Merkel���s famous promise that ���Wir schaffen das!��� (���We can manage this!���), I don���t begin to get it. the words were spoken after the Bundeskanzlerin���s  decision to fling open her country to an enormous number of undocumented migrants from the Middle East, widely unpopular and the main reason for her and her party���s continuing weakness and division ever since (she struggles to maintain a workable coalition, and is the lamest of lame ducks) . The truth is, neither she nor the country did manage it, and the raise of the AfD anti-migration radical party was the main result. To most Germans, the words have the same flat, mocking sound as ���Brexit means Brexit!��� I can���t imagine Frau Merkel much enjoys having them quoted back at her either.

 

The touting of this moment as a breakthrough reminds me of the absurd portrayal of some long ago Euro-posing by the absurd boneless wonder David Cameron as the tough wielding of a veto. I analysed it here in the long-ago innocent years before Mr Cameron tumbled over his own slipperiness, and called his cynical referendum. https://hitchensblog.mailonsunday.co.uk/2011/12/david-camerons-phoney-war-or-a-curse-in-disguise-.html