Review of Rhododendron, Oregon Area

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Hello everyone! Today I’m writing a review of the Rhododendron, Oregon Area – and more specifically of my birthday trip there just last week.

My friends and I had an amazing time – but of course that doesn’t mean we can’t critique. I’m going to tear this trip apart in a very serious, very honest way that is not at all overblown or ridiculous.

So silliness here. We will not tolerate silliness.

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My Review of the Rhododendron Area

First of all, “Rhododendron area” is not accurate but “Mt. Hood area” seemed wrong because we weren’t up on the mountain.

-1 = -1

But whatever it was, it was gorgeous!

+1 = 0

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Trillium Lake is kinda my childhood hangout. We went there the second day and had a picnic.

+5 = 5

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But I couldn’t get my butt in the lake because it was way too cold. -2 = 3

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This is a blurry picture of the road. -1 = 2

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It’s blurry but DANG it is gorgeous! +4 = 6

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This is actually a great picture AND shows the gorgeous amazing roads up there. +6 = 12

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AGGGGHH OKAY IT IS GORGEOUS I AM SO DEAD. I want to go back. +10 = 22

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People having fun on a lake I was too cold-shy to get into. -5 = 17

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IT IS SO GORGEOUS! (Have I said that too many times???) +10 = 27

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IT’S SO GORGEOUSSSS! Seriously, though, I has a cute friend. +10 = 37

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Some random troll took like 5,000 selfies on my friend’s phone. -10 = 27

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The fries on Mt. Hood are sub par. WHY ARE THEY SO WHITE!?!?!? And they weren’t well salted. Frickin’ Rhododendron. -7 = 20

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I has such cute friends. (Except that one in the red shirt. Gosh, why is she photobombing us?! Such a creepo …)

+20 = 40

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More cuties. +10 = 50

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The way Eva is holding on to that handle while I’m driving is frankly ridiculous. I’m an excellent driver. I get people where they need to go. Quickly and with much excitement. -5 = 45

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This is a cool landscape from the waterfall we hiked to. +2 = 47

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HOT TUB! We had an AWESOME hot tub at the place we were staying, and we spent like three years in it, and it was AMAZING. Like I never wanted to get out, and I miss it like crazy. +1,000 = 1,047

#LIFEGOALS

Also, I didn’t get any pictures, really, but wow, we stayed at the NICEST place! It had an amazing kitchen and a cute living room and the BEST beds – like literally the best – and the way the house was set up allowed me and my friends out own private “wing” which was awesome. So. +1,000 = 2,047

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So we hiked up to this waterfall on the way to the cabin on day 1. However, I was SO sick! Like I was dying. I completely lost my voice that evening and still haven’t gotten it back so I CANNOT TALK UGGGHHH. Though I really love it – I sound like a mix of a chain smoker and a teenage boy. And it’s GREAT! So …

+3 for my awesome voice = 2,050

-1,000 for being sick my ENTIRE birthday trip to the point where I was barely surviving = 1,050

Photo dump …

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That hike was LOADS of fun. +10 = 1,060

But there was this weird creep hiking with us …? -1,000 = 60

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Friends trying to keep poor sick me from dying. +1,000 = 1,060

Random troll in the bed. -1,000 = 60

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Random photo of friends in the car. +5 = 65

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More DQ pics. Rhododendron actually had a Dairy Queen, which was pretty awesome even if the fries were sub-parr. +5 = 70

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Random awkward failed group photos. +10 = 80

Also, MOM SIGHTING! You almost never see my mom in any photo, so that’s a surprise for sure. +5 = 85

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Somewhat blurry, awkward car selfies. +5 = 90

More mom. +20 = 110

Honestly, I just like these pictures. +100 = 210

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Another random hot tub pic. +5 = 215

Other Random Points:

A random troll didn’t send me pictures she took. -15 = 200

THAT SICKNESS DESERVES MORE RECOGNITION. -100 = 100

We watched Anna Karenina which I really enjoyed. +200 = 300

But ugh some of the content. -100 = 200

We also watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail which is just. so. good. +1,000 = 1,200.

Food was good. I didn’t eat it, but y’know. +1,000 = 2,200

We played Never Have I Ever for like … hours??? I had hundreds of questions. And Aimee won. Because she took small sips. (Of pop/soda/La Croix. We were playing, “until we give up and go to the bathroom” … which was interesting). +1,000 = 3,200

Our talks are so great. +1,000 = 4,200

People got me fantastic gifts. Like a unicorn cup and glitter and candy (good candy) and a stuffed animal dog that my friend LITERALLY KNITTED FOR ME (his name is Paden – pictures to come). +5,000 = 9,200

It ended way too soon. -200 = 9,000

But I mean that’s the best thing one can say about a trip, soooo …? +1,000 = 10,000

I had so much fun it wasn’t even funny. +10,000 = 20,000

Total for Trip

20,000 points

TTFN!

~Kellyn Roth~

p.s.

Did you go on any vacations this summer? What was your favorite? What do you think of my review? Who do you think that random person in all those photos is?

Also, I feel that I ought to clarify that the random person/troll/creep is a run-on gag that I could not stop once I started but which is not like hurting anyone’s feelings or whatever. *shrugs*

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