Have You Had the Talk with Your Kids?

[image error]I’m not talking about the birds and the bees talk, even though that talk is important. I’m talking about the talk to ask if anyone has “hurt” them? It’s a sad world that this type of talk has to be said, but it needs to be said.

I cringed when I first heard the statistics a few years ago that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually victimized. When I first heard this I was leading a group of middle school boys and it saddened me to think that statistically speaking one of them might have been a victim. So I talked to my group of guys. Was it fun? Nope. It was awkward. But I loved them enough to tell them that if anyone had ever done anything to them that they needed to tell someone, if not me, tell their their parents, teachers, guardians, or anyone. Thankfully, no one spoke up. Next I sent the awkward text to the parents to ask them to talk to their sons. Open communication is the answer in so many situations. Thankfully, I had a good number of parents text me back thanking me about bringing up this topic.

If you can get past this awkwardly important conversation, good, because life is full of awkward moments. Sweeping conversations under the rug is not the answer. Thinking that your kids will come to you is a cop out. Believing that they are safe is irrational. It’s not a safe world, but taking precautions can make them safer. The people that hurt kids are the people already in their lives and that’s a chilling thought. Not all predators are on a list that you can look up. Not all worthless scum bags have tattoos on their forehead, “Warning! Warning!” Many of these vile humans are your friends, neighbors, family members, teachers and mentors.

You may think, “Eric, you are a prime example of someone you are warning us about?” Exactly. Even though I know I would never hurt any of my young friends that I help lead, you don’t. You don’t know what someone else thinks about. So get to know the people in your kids lives. Ask your kids questions. Ask the adults questions. Have these tough conversations now. How many times do you hear about 30 or 50 year olds coming forward and saying they were abused and they never told anyone about it before. It happens. But that is too many years for that person to be locked in their own prison of fears. You have the keys to unlock that prison. You hold the keys to help them never get in that cell.

If you have had these conversations, good. But it’s not a one time and done conversation. They need to be had routinely. If you haven’t had these type of conversations, it’s time that you have it. It’s better to have an awkward conversation now than having a worse conversation in the future.

You may think, why this topic Eric? Well, I was having lunch with my dad a week ago and he brought up about the police raiding a human trafficking place and arresting many people in the U.S. It happens here in the U.S. It could be happening in your neighborhood. So have the talk.

One of my guys told me one time that his parents had “the talk” with him. “If Eric ever does anything to you, you have to tell us.” He laughed about the conversation.

I said, “Good! I’m glad they said that. That just means your parents love you.”

So, love your kids enough to have the talk.

Please.