Doubtful Allies part 1

This is part 1 of Doubtful Allies:

“How about Buttercup?” Dana Illwind asked Jayden. She saw his frown through his scarf, hat and thick coat with upturned collar. Both Dana and Jayden were dressed for the weather with extra layers of warm cotton clothes. Dana wore leggings and a coat over her usual outfit, and she carried a backpack full of food and camping supplies. “What’s wrong with Buttercup?”

“If you’re going to name a sword, it’s typical to give it a more fearsome title, such as Sworn Doom, a famous elven blade that has a history going back twelve centuries. The owner is attempting to intimidate enemies with his, or in this case her, terrifying weapon. Buttercup is not a name to inspire dread.”

Dana stopped marching along the snowy road and put her hands on her hips. “I happen to like Buttercup. My first cat was named Buttercup, and I loved her very much. And I think I should have the last say over the name of my sword.”

“Undoubtedly so, but your choice could result in insults at your expense that I would feel compelled to redress with overwhelming force.”

“Isn’t that your response to most of life’s problems?”

Jayden shrugged. “It’s worked well so far. Dana, named weapons are rare and much sought after. Naming your weapon may increase its value in the eyes of strangers, perhaps enough for them to attempt to steal it, so consider this matter carefully.”

“Oh.” Dana resumed walking. It was a long way to their destination, and she didn’t want to spend another night camping in the snow. Winter had taken a firm hold, with deep snow and bone chilling cold, making travel by foot difficult and dangerous. The road they were on was better traveled than most, and foot and horse traffic had trampled the snow down. Still, it was rough going even on a sunny afternoon like this.

“Traditionally sword names include references to the original owner, which we’re trying to conceal so the authorities don’t go after your family,” Jayden continued. “Other names refer to a famous battle, or enemy defeated with the weapon. That might be a worthy route since you used it to destroy Wall Wolf, an enemy few would dare attack.”

Dana looked at the sheathed short sword that hung from her belt. “Wolf Killer, Golem Killer, Iron Killer…none of those really work for me.”

“This doesn’t require an immediate decision,” Jayden counseled. “Take your time until you come up with a name that suits you, or no name at all. Until then we have much to occupy our attention.”

“Armored wagons,” she said. “I’d never seen one in my life, and the people in the last village said a caravan of ten went down this road.”

Dana and Jayden had spent the last week traveling toward the center of the kingdom. Jayden had hoped to ambush supply wagons heading for Edgeland, and thus starve out the army occupying the city, but days of searching had turned up no targets.

Instead strangers and passersby reported seeing wagons heading for the next major city, a metropolis of a hundred thousand people. These wagons had covered tops and armor plate on their sides, and oxen pulling them wore yet more armor. Ten soldiers accompanied each wagon, and four archers rode on top. Ten knights on horseback had escorted this strange caravan, guiding their absurdly well-defended charges from town to manor to city, never stopping on the road for the night.

“What could the king and queen be transporting that needs so much protection?” Dana asked.

“The last time we intercepted wagons, they carried a fortune in armor,” Jayden said as he trudged through the snow. “If these wagons warrant such protection they surely carry cargo of great value. What it could be, though, baffles me. Gold and jewels are compact and easily concealed, not requiring so many wagons. Trained monsters would require specialized transports, not wagons sealed as tight as a drum. It could be silks or furs, but even then a guard of a hundred fifty men is extreme.”

“Trade has been shut down,” Dana pointed out. “Travel to Kaleoth ended even before the king and queen tried to invade. Going anywhere is hard in winter, so not much could be coming from Zentrix or Brandish.”

Jayden pointed at deep wagon ruts in the road. “Yet something is coming through, a treasure of such value that the king and queen are willing to spend a ridiculous amount guarding it, and go through the difficulty of traveling during winter. I’ve been looking for a worthwhile target ever since we returned from Kaleoth. I daresay this is it.”

Dana and Jayden reached the top of a snowy hill and looked down on the walled city in the distance. Jayden pointed at it and said, “Welcome the city of Armorston, weapons manufacturing center of the kingdom. If a man tries to kill you, chances are the sword, spear, ax or bow was made here.”

“At least we know who to complain to,” Dana said sarcastically.

Jayden smiled at her. “Jesting aside, I visited here before and saw how dangerous it is. Soldiers have the best armor and weapons. The second risk, and the bigger of the two, is that the people of Armorston are loyal. The king and queen recognize the value of this city and treat its residents well, with lower taxes, no conscription of men into the army and no hostages taken from leading citizens to ensure their obedience. These men and women serve the king and queen by choice, and they will attack any who threaten the crown.”

“And a certain someone has wanted posters with his picture on them across the kingdom. What are you worth dead this time?”

“The last poster listed a reward of fifteen thousand silver pieces on my head, but it was weeks old. The price may have gone up since then.”

Dana peered at the distant city. “How do we get in?”

Jayden pointed at the city gate. “I see no easy path. Soldiers search pedestrians and wagons as they enter. The walls are too tall and smooth to climb. Archers in watchtowers would make short work of flying threats. Digging under the wall would be difficult and time consuming.”

“We could wait for the wagons to come out.”

“That could take weeks or months, if it ever happens.” Jayden shook his head. “The armored wagons aren’t far ahead of us and may not have even been unloaded. If we can get inside Armorston, we can investigate the cargo and then steal or destroy it.”

“I could go in alone,” Dana offered. “Look around, see what’s—”

“No,” he said firmly.

Pouting, she said, “I stabbed Wall Wolf through the eye and killed it. I think that proves I can handle myself.”

“Dana, you are fond of pointing out my mortality, and rightly so. Too often I let anger dictate my actions and put my life in danger. You are offering to go into a city of a hundred thousand people that hate me and love the king and queen.”

“There aren’t wanted posters with my face,” she pressed.

“You have a very identifiable magic blade. Enemy soldiers saw you use it when we brought down the bridge over Racehorse River and when we destroyed Wall Wolf. Soldiers will be looking for it. Even if you go unarmed, you are in great danger from men paid to kill anyone who might be a threat. You are not going into Armorston alone.”

Dana walked in front of Jayden. “Then how are we going in together?”

“I’ll tell you once I figure it out.”

Armorston had outgrown its walls, probably long ago judging by the huge number of buildings clustered around it. There were small villages farther out that offered minor services, including restaurants, inns, stables and teamsters. So many people were coming and going that two strangers drew no attention.

“We’re going to explore the outer sections of the city,” Jayden told her. “There may be ways inside such as sewer networks. We’re both wearing enough winter clothes to make it hard to identify us. Act naturally and don’t draw attention to yourself.”

Armorston was a prosperous city, far richer than any Dana had visited. Men and women wore good quality clothes made of leather, wool, furs or cotton. They were healthy and well fed, and most were in good cheer.

“It’s a good thing the king and queen finally brought those dogs in Kaleoth to heel,” a man declared. He was standing on a street corner and addressing a sizeable crowd. “Smugglers have been using that cesspit as their home base for years, and they’ve been recruiting riffraff from across our kingdom to swell their numbers.”

“That’s disgusting,” Dana whispered to Jayden.

“It’s business,” he replied softly. “The man is a professional agitator, paid to spread propaganda. He also judges how well or poorly his message is received, and points out to the authorities anyone who argues with him.”

“How can you be sure?”

“The king and queen saw us through the civil war, and they’ll see us through this, too,” the man continued. “Kaleoth’s corpse king won’t know what hit him!”

“I’ve met his kind before,” Jayden explained. “There are two armed men at the back of the crowd to guard the agitator. A nod from him can bring them down like lightning on anyone whose words betrays a lack of loyalty. If we stay in Armorston long enough we’ll see him performing on other street corners.”

Dana watched the crowd and found it depressingly eager. Men smiled and nodded at the agitator’s words. More people gathered to listen to him.

“How can they fall for this?” she asked.

“I’m sure Armorston’s residents swear by this man’s loyalty and friendship. He’ll buy them drinks, commiserate with them when they suffer, offer minor aid when he can, a friend to all. He’ll have a reputation for being outspoken and connections to officials who give him inside information. Make no mistake, he is an expert at measuring men’s opinions and changing them.”

Dana shivered. “Lies for sale.”

“Blacksmiths are doing record business, and iron miners and charcoal burners do just as well,” the agitator told the crowd. “The army needs clothes, food and draft animals, fairly paid for from those who have. Good times are around the corner.”

The agitator spent time answering questions before moving on. Once he was gone, Jayden led Dana through the city. They found more signs of royal control, including wanted posters, recruitment brochures for the army, and flyers urging residents to inform on their neighbors if they see suspicious activity. Soldiers guarded prosperous businesses, but Dana couldn’t guess who they were protecting them from.

Hours of searching brought Dana and Jayden back to the point where they’d entered the outskirts of Armorston. Jayden led her to an inn outside city limits. He stayed only long enough to buy food before heading to an isolated grove of fruit trees bare of leaves.

“I have to credit the king and queen for their thoroughness,” he said as they ate. “Sewers are too small to crawl through and sealed with iron grates. There is a space fifteen feet wide between the city wall and the nearest building. I heard hounds inside the city walls in case a man enters unnoticed. This is going to be tricky.”

“We need somewhere to stay. If we camp outdoors so close to a city people are going to ask why, but if we stay indoors the owner is going to report us to the army.”

“Not necessarily.” Jayden pointed to a distant inn on a lonely road. “I came here last winter and made the acquaintance of the man who owns that establishment. He will put us up for the night without telling anyone.”

“He could have left or been arrested since then.”

“The fact that the inn still stands is proof he owns it. If someone had tried to arrest him he would have burned the inn down to cover his escape. If he’d left he would have burned it down for insurance money.”

Dana frowned. “Am I going to regret meeting him?”

“Yes.”

Jayden led her into the inn, where a sniveling weasel of a man stood behind a bar. No one else was present, not surprising given the inn’s poor condition. The man choked on a drink when he saw Jayden remove his hat and scarf.

“Gaston, so good to see you still breathing,” Jayden said as he marched up to the man. “You clearly need business, and my friend and I need rooms.”

“W-what madness could have made you come back here?” Gaston sputtered. “The city bank you burned down has only just been rebuilt! Soldiers practice stabbing straw dummies with your face painted on them.”

“That’s been going on for years. Dana, meet Gaston. He and I have a good working relationship. Namely, I didn’t kill him when I really should have, and in return he does exactly what I tell him to do. How’s your wife, Gaston?”

“Which one?” Gatson asked.

Dana covered her face with her hand. “Why do I keep meeting people like this?”

“It’s a puzzle,” Jayden said. He went through his pockets until he came up with two gold coins and tossed them to Gaston. “I pay for the help I receive. We require two rooms with locks, and your selective ignorance if soldiers ask about us.”

Gaston slipped the coins into a slot on the wall. “Business is down regardless of what the king says. You’ve got the place to yourself. Have the good manners to keep whatever trouble you cause far from my door.”

Jayden sat down at the bar across from Gaston. “Naturally. Armored wagons have come into Armorston. What have you heard about them?”

Gaston shrugged. “Everyone has seen them, no one knows what’s in them. Soldiers guarding them won’t let anyone within ten feet. Businessmen swear the wagons aren’t carrying goods for them.”

“I need a way inside the city,” Jayden said.

“Rooms I can give you,” Gaston replied. “If you want miracles, God is picky about who he hands those out to.”

Dana put a hand on a chair and pulled it away quickly. “When was the last time you cleaned this place?”

Gaston pointed a dirty mug at her. “That’s not my fault. Goblins snuck in last night and brushed grease on the furniture. I told one joke about their king, this Bradshaw fellow. One joke!”

“One was enough,” a squeaky voice outside the inn called out.

Dana perked up at the sound. She’d had reasonably good luck dealing with goblins, and goblins could break into anything when they felt like it. She ran for the door, telling Jayden, “Wait here.”

Outside she found a lone goblin digging through a frozen pile of kitchen scraps next to a window. It looked like Gaston threw his garbage out the nearest window, no surprise given his character, and goblins snapped it up. The goblin was only two feet tall, and so covered in rags that only his wide face showed. Dana walked up to the goblin and smiled. “Hi there, my name’s—”

“I know who you are,” the goblin interrupted. “Goblins don’t have many friends. We remember the ones we’ve got.”

“May I ask a favor?” The goblin shrugged in response, but he didn’t leave or insult her. “My friend and I are looking for armored wagons that went into Armorston. Do you know anything about them?”

“We saw them, but we don’t know what’s in them. Soldiers drove the wagons straight into a warehouse and closed the door before unloading them. There were more armored wagons earlier this month. No idea what they carried, and we can’t get near the warehouse.”

“We’d like to look at them, but we can’t get inside the city walls. Can you help us?”

The goblin frowned as if in deep concentration. “We’ve dug tunnels under the wall, but none big enough for you to fit through. I know a human woman who might help, crazy as a goblin and good for a laugh. Give me a few hours and I’ll get you a yes or no.”

Dana bent down and kissed the goblin on the forehead. “Thank you.”

“Good gravy, woman, are you insane?” the goblin sputtered. “You don’t know where I’ve been!”

The goblin headed out, muttering to himself about crazy girls as he slipped between buildings. Dana headed back to the inn and saw Jayden waiting for her by the door with an upraised eyebrow.

“I have rarely seen goblins behave, and never without a substantial bribe. How is it you are on such good terms with a goblin you’d never met before tonight?”

“You know how I keep your secret?” she asked. When Jayden nodded, she said, “It’s not the only one I’m keeping.”

When she didn’t say any more, Jayden pointed at her. “You can’t end a conversation like that.”

Dana headed into the inn without looking back. “Looks like I just did. Innkeeper, do you have any cheese?”

It took a bit of haggling, but Dana was soon the proud owner of a wedge of cheddar. She stayed outside regardless of the cold, keeping clear of other people while she waited for the goblin to return. There was always a chance he wouldn’t come back, but she’d had good luck dealing with goblins ever since she’d kept quiet about their phony ghost in Fish Bait City. Jayden stayed with her, looking curious but not asking for details.

It was dark when the goblin returned with a wagon pulled by two horses following him. He was already smiling ear to ear before he saw the cheese, and he raced to her side at the sight of it. Dana handed over the cheese and the goblin wolfed it down.

Once the goblin finished eating, he said, “You got me a gift before you knew if I’d brought her.”

“I owed you for looking, whether you succeeded or not.” It warmed her heart to see the goblin smile. Dana rubbed her hands together and asked, “So, who is the mystery woman?”

Jayden tensed. “Woman? Oh no.”

“Jayden!” A young woman jumped off the wagon and raced to him, covering the last few feet between them with an impressive leap that ended with her wrapping her arms around him. Jayden’s face turned white, and his eyes opened wide in terror. He tried and failed to break free from the stranger’s embrace.

“Get her off!”

“That’s her,” the goblin said proudly. “She can get you in the city.”

Jayden kept trying to pry the woman off him. “Get. Her. Off. Now.”

The woman let go, but took Jayden by the hands before he could back away. “Jayden, it’s been too long. I love what you’ve done with your hair. It’s got a ‘dangerous wild man’ feel to it. Ooh, is that a scar? Naughty boy, what have you been up to?”

“Dana, make it stop.”

Dana took the woman by the arm and turned her away from Jayden. The woman was in her twenties, a beauty with an hourglass figure. Her blond hair was tied back in a ponytail that reached to her narrow waist. Her blue eyes sparkled like sapphires. The woman wore a gorgeous silk dress dyed yellow and green, and an emerald green silk coat over that. Her black boots went up to her knees and had blue laces.

“Oh my God, you must be unidentified female accomplice!” the woman squealed. She jumped up and down before hugging Dana. “I’ve wanted to meet you for weeks!”

“Hi,” Dana managed. “Who are you?”

“I keep forgetting how reserved people are around here.” The woman curtsied and bowed her head. “Suzy Lockheart, alchemist, adventurer and troublemaker.”

Dana put a hand over her mouth and tried to keep from laughing. “This is too good. Jayden, this is the lady you used to go on adventures with?”

Jayden gritted his teeth. “One adventure that nearly ended with us all dead.”

“Those boulders missed us by ten feet.” Suzy frowned and corrected, “Eight feet. Maybe six. The important thing is they missed us and we got the money, and there were no witnesses. That’s something you never understood the importance of, dear, making sure no one sees you do naughty things.”

Dana asked, “Unidentified female accomplice?”

Suzy ran back to her wagon and took a stack of papers off the driver’s seat. She sorted through them, throwing most on the ground, until she held up a wanted poster with Jayden’s face on it. “Sorcerer Lord Jayden: wanted for treason, destruction of royal property, theft, assault against royal officials and other crimes. Bounty 18,000 silver pieces, dead or alive, preferably dead. Known to travel with an unknown female accomplice armed with a magic sword. Is that it? Ooh, let me see it!”

The woman pulled Dana’s sword from her sheath and gave it an experimental swing in the air before stabbing a tree with it. The sword sank through the wood like it was warm butter and cut the tree down at chest level. Jayden grabbed Suzy’s hands and pried her fingers open to remove the sword.

Suzy pressed a finger against Jayden’s chest. “I worked with you. I didn’t get a sword.”

“The sword was made long after we’d parted company.” Jayden returned the sword to Dana before addressing Suzy. “I don’t recall you needing help spreading destruction.”

“It’s the thought that counts. You’re supposed to give gifts to pretty ladies.”

“Dana has been a great help to me, and never once nearly gotten me killed.”

Suzy rolled her eyes. “You just won’t let that go.”

Jayden turned his attention to Dana. “I’m going to require an explanation why you did this to me.”

“He,” Dana began, and realized the goblin had left. “I asked a goblin to find us a way inside Armorston. He said he knew someone who could help and brought Suzy.”

“So you didn’t know the goblin was referring to Lockheart,” Jayden said. That seemed to calm him down. “Did the goblin say how this miracle was to take place?”

Suzy wrapped an arm around Jayden’s waist. “You see that lovely wagon over there? I had it specially built by a master carpenter. I told him I needed to transport goods I didn’t want people to find. You know how nosy people can be. Tax collectors, sheriffs, soldiers, public health officials, they just can’t mind their own business.”

Jayden eyed the wagon nervously. “You built secret compartments into the wagon.”

“Sweetie, I can hide three grown men in there, and that’s without trying to squeeze them in. Yub and I are light on cargo at the moment, leaving even more space.”

A blue goblin wearing a white lab coat and blue pants climbed on top of the wagon and waved. Jayden pointed at the goblin and asked, “Yub, I presume?”

“Isn’t he a doll? We met when I was gathering ingredients for bombs.” Suzy pulled in close and whispered into Jayden’s ear, “I just learned goblins love alchemy. There are oodles of them in the Kingdom of the Goblins, blowing things up left and right. Yub wandered off one day to set up his own lab. He was looking for raw materials when we met. The poor dear wasn’t having much luck and asked if he could tag along with me. How could I saw no to a face like that?”

Jayden stared at the grinning goblin. “I am not this desperate.”

“A goblin came to me and said the high and mighty sorcerer lord needs me, which was a serious ego boost,” Suzy gushed. “Naturally I’d love to help, except he was vague on what you wanted. It’s getting late, so let’s go somewhere nice and cozy to talk about what I can do for you, and what I’m getting in return.”

Suzy wrapped her other arm around Dana. “And you have been spending way more time with Jayden than I have, so I’m going to pick your brain for all the dirt on him I can get. Does he snore? He looks like he snores.”

Dana laughed and led Suzy into the inn. Jayden followed, grumbling with every step. Once inside they went into a private room with gaming tables. Suzy and Yub sat down across from Jayden.

“Let me guess, the job is political,” she began. “It’s always political with you. The king did this, the queen did that, that’s all you talk about. Did you ever wonder how much money you could make if you’d just take the best paying jobs?”

“Money is a tool, not a goal,” he said. He grumbled more before admitting, “It’s political. Soldiers brought ten armored wagons into Armotston. I want to know what’s in them, and either steal or destroy it.”

“Innkeeper, drinks, strong ones!” Suzy shouted. “I saw those wagons. There’s no way you could steal ten wagons worth of goods, and burning them is risky when the warehouse they’re stored in is next to the city granaries. If a fire spreads a hundred thousand people go hungry, men women, children, elderly.”

Gaston brought a mug and set it in front of Suzy. She gave him a pitying look and asked, “One? I’ll tell you when to stop bringing them. Jayden, this sounds like it’s going to fail spectacularly, so I want payment up front. Two hundred gold pieces and two dates.”

“I’ll double the gold, but nothing more,” Jayden countered.

Suzy smiled. “Fine, four hundred and two dates.”

Jayden’s face turned red. “No dates!”

“We haven’t got four hundred gold coins, or even two hundred,” Dana said.

“We’ll get it,” Jayden said. “I understand there’s a new bank in town.”

Suzy burst out giggling. “You’re so much fun to play with. If your wallet is a little light, which it wouldn’t be if you took better paying jobs, we can make a deal.”

Jayden’s eyes narrowed. “Explain.”

“The king of Brandish is an itsy bit bothered about that invasion attempt on Kaleoth. He heard the justifications and didn’t buy it. He also noticed a lot more soldiers on his border. The clever boy hired me to close one of the passes leading into his kingdom and make it look like a landslide.”

Suzy drank her mug in one long pull. “He commissioned me to build a big bomb, place it at a narrow rocky point in the pass, and boom, no more pass. But, and he was really firm on this, no pay until he sees the explosion, and he wants it done before spring.”

Jayden folded his arms across his chest. “I fail to see how this requires help.”

“I’m getting there. Yub has plans for a bomb big enough to do the job, but it takes a lot of materials that are hard to come by. There’s no way I can find enough ingredients by foraging in the wilderness to do the job in time, especially during winter. Buying what I need isn’t happening with the prospect of a long, bloody, pointless war driving up prices. What I can do, with a little help, is steal it.”

Suzy leaned over the table. “It’s even political. I came to Armorston because an alchemist lives here, rich guy, takes contracts from the king and queen, the sort of person you hate. I visited, flirted with him, talked shop for a couple hours, and when he was busy getting us drinks I checked his stock.”

Dana waved her hands. “Wait a minute. How did you get past their security?”

The innkeeper returned with a bottle and tried to fill Suzy’s mug. She took the bottle from him and drank straight from it. “I don’t have a price on my head. I did some legitimate work over the years, burning tree stumps, blowing up monsters. It gave me a good reputation. Plus, alchemists don’t have the bad press sorcerer lords do. I just had to buy a pass for the month that lets me go everywhere except army and government buildings.”

“I presume this alchemist has the supplies you need,” Jayden said.

Suzy set down her mug and bottle. Her voice was filled with excitement as she leaned closer to Jayden. “He’s got everything and more. Dried powdered phoenix blossoms, shed dragon scales, harpy feathers, etherium. Etherium!”

Suzy reached across the table and grabbed Jayden by the collar of his coat. Her face inches from his, she asked, “Do you know how hard it is to get etherium? Do you have any idea what the black market price is for even one ounce? He’s got five ounces, Jayden! The king and queen have to be supplying him, or paying him enough to buy the best!”

Her voice fell to a whisper. “I want it all. I get you into the city, you help me clean him out, and then we look at your wagons. My part won’t take thirty minutes.”

Jayden looked at Suzy with the same apprehension usually reserved for poisonous snakes. He gently pushed her back into her chair. “When can we do it?”

“Tomorrow night. I don’t want to risk the alchemist using up any of those goodies before we can steal them. Plus, my pass is only good for another three days. After that I either have to apply for permanent residency or leave. We both win, Jayden. You get to burn stuff, or maybe steal it. That always makes you happy. I get a fortune in alchemy ingredients and get to work with you again.”

“Deal.” Jayden reached across the table and shook Suzy’s hand.

“You won’t regret this,” Suzy promised. “Well, you might. You’re so picky about mortal danger and collateral damage. I have to see to my wagon and horses.”

Once Suzy left the inn, Jayden turned to Dana. “I know you were trying to help when you arranged this meeting, but you don’t realize the threat she poses.”

“Come on, Jayden, she survived this long, so she must be good at her job.” He didn’t look convinced, so she added, “You’ve learned new spells since we met. I’ll bet Suzy has learned new tricks and is more powerful than she was the last time you two met.”

Jayden headed for his room. “Which means all of Armorston is now in danger.”