Grandmotherly Advice as You Start College — A Conversation with My Daughter and Her Mimaw
Guest Post by Christa Vogt
Last weekend, my husband and I visited his 100-year-old mother. Our youngest daughter, Christa, came along to visit her “Mimaw,” since she leaves for college this week. When we arrived at the skilled nursing facility where Rob’s mom has been staying for the past two months (too long of a story for this blog post), Christa asked for a few minutes alone with her Mimaw. The rest of this blog post? I’ve turned it over to Christa so she could share about their conversation.
This week is a huge week for me. I’m going to college in Minnesota, where I’ll be playing volleyball for Bethel University. I leave early Thursday morning and it’s crazy to say I don’t know when I’ll be back.
Last Sunday, I had to say another goodbye. This time it was with my 100-year-old Mimaw. I know my parents were surprised when I asked for a couple minutes alone with Mimaw, but I wanted this moment to be special.
Mimaw and I talked for a few minutes about the basic things. Yes, I’d started packing. Yes, I already know some of my volleyball teammates. Yes, I’m very excited.
Once we discussed these things, I was able to ask her the more important question for me – if she had any advice she could give me. I honestly thought she’d take a moment to think about it. But she instantly perked up and told me two things:
Be yourself. Her first answer was short and sweet.
Ask for help. Here Mimaw elaborated more. “I do not tend to ask for help, and I could’ve gotten a lot farther in some things if I had just asked,” she said. “You have a good family support system. Call them, even about things you think are stupid, and ask for help. They’ll be there to help you.”
The first recommendation to “Be yourself” is one I’ve heard many times. But hearing it from a woman who has seen a century’s worth of people being or not being themselves meant so much more to me. She sees the value in me being me.
Mimaw’s second answer surprised me. My grandmother is what my family likes to call “Montana Strong.” She was born in 1918 in a one-room log cabin built by her father and, at the peak of her career, she was a lobbyist for National Farmers Union on Capitol Hill. She was correct when she said she doesn’t ask for help; this woman denied having congestive heart failure, ok?
But if my grandmother, who will celebrate her 101st birthday on October 31, wishes she had asked for help, I think we all should listen. She has every right to claim “I’ve done so many things by myself,” but instead, she wishes she had reached out more.
Going into college volleyball is scary. But I have a feeling, the more I ask for help, the more quickly I’ll learn and grow. Maybe I’ll ask an older teammate for help. Or my coaches – although yes, they intimidate me right now. Or I could even ask my fellow freshmen. Sometimes asking for help comes with a good ol’ dose of humility.
But I also know that if I need to, I can call home and there will be nine people ready and willing to offer whatever help they can from 989 miles away.
Disclaimer: Not everyone has a supportive, close-knit family like mine. Help won’t always come from family. It can come from a friend, a peer, or even an authority figure in your life. But help can’t be offered if you don’t ask.
So reach out if you’re struggling. You’re being yourself when you do.
Grandmotherly Advice as You Start College - a Conversation with My Daughter and Her MiMaw http://bit.ly/301VsNp #perspective #encouragement #college
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'To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.' Quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson http://bit.ly/301VsNp #beyourself #quote
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