What’s my mindset when I’m writing a novel?

When I’m in the process of writing a book, I’m more focused on planning it than writing the novel itself. 

It’s difficult to write the chapters as days, weeks, and months passed. The hype dies out and you have to reintroduce yourself back to the emotional and mental state you were in when you felt like writing the story. I don’t know how other writers do it, or their mindset when they’re writing a novel throughout the year. But I’m sure there are days they’ll lose interest to even write a word. This is called ‘writer’s block’. This is an unavoidable state for writers.

And I admit, I’m one of those people. 

We’re only human. Situations and experience around us changes, and sometimes affect our perception and emotional state, which render us immobile to proceed in writing our current works. For writers in the same boat as I am, who are in an online writing community which we have weekly updates and promised deadlines to post chapters, it’s ten times more difficult to uphold this emotional and mental focus on wanting to write and finish the book. But of course, there is a will for writers or creators to finish what they’ve started, it just takes time to get there.

In my writing experience, whenever I have a new book to write, I’m so engrossed in writing the novel because it’s fresh in my mind. So, at first, I plan out the plots and a few scenes ahead of time – a habit I’ve recently done. 

However, as days and weeks pass on, and I have a day job, that feeling gets dwindled and dimmed by work pressure and sometimes healthy issues – which was my case recently. The emotional state I’m in doesn’t give me enough boost for the mental capacity to keep the same tone and voice of the story I’m writing. 

I don’t want to make a rom-com novel turn dark just because I was in a bad mental state in my personal life. And even if writers at times say their work isn’t personal, it is part of themselves they are putting into words. It’s a form of expression. The readers would notice something would be off, maybe not at first, but a certain word change, or description of the character’s choice of words, it’ll give off a vibe.

To be professional – and not ruin the kind of story I want to tell, I’ve learned to distance myself from writing when I’m incapable of being in the mindset of how I wanted the story to feel. This sort of situation happens to me every story that I write. And it became a personal challenge. 

So I want to open up and share with you something I don’t share as much as I do.

Earlier in 2018, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2. For years, I had trouble handling mental and emotional collapse. I didn’t even know I had Bipolar and thought it was just mood swings (extreme mood swings). I won’t get into detail about it here yet but would talk about in my future posts. 

Fast forward to today, I’ve sought help and treatment. Both personally and professionally, it helped make me a better person and storyteller. These days I’m still trying to find common ground and getting used to not having a weird emotional outburst, which kept me from finishing the story I’m writing.

After seeking help, I’m in a better mindset in writing upbeat and fun stories. And I’m comfortable writing more serious and mentally exhausting scenes as well. When I decided to make writing as part of my life, I hadn’t thought of it to be like ‘a job’. 

With the responsibilities attached to it now, it is a job for me. I’ve no regrets, and very happy I get to put in my job description that I’m a published author. Because it is work. And more people should see how much work it is to write something out of nothing.