The weird thing about having a really old kid

is that I'm still young, which is pretty cool. Logically, it seems like a good idea to me to delay kids, but I'm glad I didn't. It's over with now and I have my whole life ahead of me.

Sure, having a kid so young can put a crimp in your social life, but be honest—are you really enjoying it all that much? I wasn't.

I had a blast as a dad. One time, I volunteered to be the little league umpire and I was so fucking horrible that the game resulted in a double no-hitter. Everyone hated me, both teams, all the parents, the coaches, even my kid. I didn't mind, though. It was good training for having a sarcastic, smartass blog.

We used to hang out in the graveyard, my boy and me, and I'd tell him ghost stories. One time we were up there and we saw a ghost. It scared the shit out of us. Sure, I suppose it could've been a trick of the light, but how fucking boring is that? It was a ghost, dammit.

When he was really little I thought he should take piano lessons. My mom's a classical pianist and so it only seemed appropriate. He excelled. I had to make him stop practicing so that I could feed him. Funny…here I was worried about getting him to devote himself to music a bit, to try, and the next thing you know I was worried about him starving to death with a guitar in his hands.

Since he was 12 he's known exactly what he wants to do with his life. I still don't know. That's ok, though. I have plenty of time left to never find out.

:)