Why Overcoming Fear Is A Personal Matter

What do you fear? And what do you do with that? Do you hide? Bury it? Or do you tackle it, head-on? Have you grown in this regard or do you fall back on old habits? I’m a work in progress. And fear isn’t going anywhere any time soon. But it’s not a guiding force in my life anymore. Steps, even baby ones, are better than no steps.

People often tell us to face our fears in order to get over them. But sometimes, fear needn’t be faced. Sometimes it’s okay to simply remove yourself from situations or even people. If something or the idea of something is causing you so much anxiety, why do it? How does that help? Many say that you’ll never get over it if you don’t. But again, I disagree, even some psychologists have discovered this. It can often lead to worse fears, deeper anxieties, even withdrawal or reclusive behaviors. So, for me, it’s important to face things that I must overcome in order to find happiness and balance, to find myself and who I want to be, and what I want to accomplish. Sometimes, even, it’s timing.

I recently had an opportunity to take a trip somewhere I’d never been. It didn’t feel right. I can’t put my finger on why, it just didn’t. And ignoring it wasn’t helping. I was, quite literally, waking in the middle of the night, finding it hard to breathe. “You’ll be fine.” “Just do it.” “You’ll regret it if you don’t.” “These opportunities don’t present themselves but rarely.” Perhaps all of these replies are true. Perhaps I won’t have this opportunity again. But after careful thought, I realized I do and will have ample opportunities.

There comes a time in our lives where we must accept who we are not versions of who we WISH we were or how others want us to be. Certain things don’t thrill me. But instead, make me uncomfortable. Ignoring those feelings and emotions seem downright counter-intuitive to me. Was I going on this trip to please others? Prove to others that I can overcome my fears? Or was I contemplating going because I wanted to improve myself, grow, and overcome unfounded emotions of fear?
If I really listened to myself, it was the former. I had no desire to tackle this on my own behalf but instead, to “prove” something. That’s not overcoming a fear. That’s worrying, again, about what other people think or expect from me. So, in essence, by bowing out and deciding not to go, I actually conquered something else far more important in the process: Letting go of the fear of disappointing others. I’m done with that. After I decided not to go, I could finally sleep again, and I could finally begin thinking about what I wanted from my own life, not the life others saw of me. Instead, though, I did tackle a smaller, more manageable fear. I rode The Hulk in Orlando. And that was a small baby step for me. Living in the moment for a change. Hopping in that line. Waiting an hour. Cruising down the twists and turns. Facing the truth that I don’t fear death either. What I really fear is not living for myself but living for others, living for the future and not the present, living, then, not really at all, but waiting...waiting for others to decide my fate. So, however superficial it may seem on the surface, that ride was a metaphor for where I am in my life. I’ll face what I want, when I want, and when I think it benefits myself not because it might impress someone else. Selfish? No. Progress. That ride a silly metaphor, you say? Not for me. And I don’t care if you do think it’s silly, remember? Because… I’ve overcome that fear. It's time I wrote my own story. And I won't fear what others have to say about it. My pencil. My eraser. My life. My fears. My story. :) And yes, I'm still more than a little scared...