at the bottom of the pyramid
I'll call this issue the Eifersucht-glück effect because German is always best for these things.
It's that stab of envy you feel at someone else's gain. It's the exact opposite of schadenfreude. (joy at sorrow vs. sorrow at joy)
Someone else achieves
something great, and eventually you might get to a real-ish "hurray for you!"
point... But before that, there's the inevitable sense of hey, wait,
what about me? That's mine. Even when it obviously isn't yours--and it's equally obvious the lucky/smart person deserves the good outcome.
Here's the thing: no matter how clear it is to you intellectually that the lucky/smart person deserves this, the Eifersucht-glück effect will kick in (unless you're in the throes or after-glow of a major achievement yourself, then you can skip this conversation altogether. Chances are you're not here anyway--you're busy achieving, not reading dumb blogs).
Eventually the E-G effect must resolve or you:
1. collapse into bitterness.
2. abandon that aspect of your life
and/or
3. go after people with weapons.
The next stage, called the post-Eifersucht-Gluck phase of brain activity is perhaps called the "eh, it happens; get over it."
The best resolution, the absolute end of the effect, also known as the post-post-post-Eifersucht-Gluck
phase is a genuine "yay! couldn't have happened to a nicer person. You deserve
it."
This is something like reaching the top of the Maslow pyramid, only in a
matter of seconds or minutes instead of years, one hopes.
This is not envy based on a sense of true injustice, by the way. That is something entirely different. I suspect the purest E-G occurs only when you like the person -- so there's also a sense of indignation because you can't feel entirely happy for them right off the bat. Another source of the Grumbly-Blues. (see also: problems, first world)
________
**I think the "sucht" part of that is pronounced "sucks" even if it's wrong for German. Also I thought glück meant luck, but google babble thinks it's joy. Both work well.
It's that stab of envy you feel at someone else's gain. It's the exact opposite of schadenfreude. (joy at sorrow vs. sorrow at joy)
Someone else achieves
something great, and eventually you might get to a real-ish "hurray for you!"
point... But before that, there's the inevitable sense of hey, wait,
what about me? That's mine. Even when it obviously isn't yours--and it's equally obvious the lucky/smart person deserves the good outcome.
Here's the thing: no matter how clear it is to you intellectually that the lucky/smart person deserves this, the Eifersucht-glück effect will kick in (unless you're in the throes or after-glow of a major achievement yourself, then you can skip this conversation altogether. Chances are you're not here anyway--you're busy achieving, not reading dumb blogs).
Eventually the E-G effect must resolve or you:
1. collapse into bitterness.
2. abandon that aspect of your life
and/or
3. go after people with weapons.
The next stage, called the post-Eifersucht-Gluck phase of brain activity is perhaps called the "eh, it happens; get over it."
The best resolution, the absolute end of the effect, also known as the post-post-post-Eifersucht-Gluck
phase is a genuine "yay! couldn't have happened to a nicer person. You deserve
it."
This is something like reaching the top of the Maslow pyramid, only in a
matter of seconds or minutes instead of years, one hopes.
This is not envy based on a sense of true injustice, by the way. That is something entirely different. I suspect the purest E-G occurs only when you like the person -- so there's also a sense of indignation because you can't feel entirely happy for them right off the bat. Another source of the Grumbly-Blues. (see also: problems, first world)
________
**I think the "sucht" part of that is pronounced "sucks" even if it's wrong for German. Also I thought glück meant luck, but google babble thinks it's joy. Both work well.
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