There's No Such Thing As BAD Words…
There. I said it. There's no such thing. Words are not bad or good—they are amoral. They are symbols constructed by society in order to communicate and be understood by others, and it's absolutely absurd that we have deemed some words bad and others not.
I've always felt this way. And I stand by it, even with my kids. We NEVER say a word is bad. I've taught them that some words are inappropriate for them to use at this age, because of how society reacts to certain words. I've also taught them that these words aren't bad, and when they have a more complete vocabulary and are old enough to use good judgment and discernment in how and where to use such words, they are free to use them.
This week I've been editing the first of my children's chapter books that are set to come out this month. The first book, Lexie World, had Lexie, a five year old, saying "freaking." As in "that's so freaking cool!" I see no problem with this word. My kids use it. But my editor felt differently. Because it's a substitute for the F*word he felt it was inappropriate for this age group. I don't agree, but after doing a google search I realized that many parents do agree, so I changed the word.
But really? Because it makes some people think of the F*word, we can't use it? What about "Oh shoot!" or "Darn it" or "Dang it?" Are these words also off limits because they are substitutes for sh*t and damn?
Does anyone else see how stupid this is? And let's look at the big bad words. The baddest of the bad. The ones that led to many of us getting our mouths washed out with soap. We've got F*&K and SH*T and a bunch of words that basically all mean vagina or penis. What do these words have in common? They either refer to sex, sexual body parts, or natural elimination of waste that occurs with every human being in the world.
They do not represent some of the more violent, horrible acts that human beings have been known to commit on one another. They don't symbolize war or hate or destruction. Quite the opposite, they represent what gives life and creates life.
Do you see a theme? Our bad words all represent a suppressed society full of people who can't embrace their natural body or sexual nature. I'm not going to whip out Freud or anything, but it's no secret we herald from a very puritanical culture. And now we are carrying the residue of that with us in our language. (And our irrational responses to some words.)
Why? Why do we continue to perpetuate these myths about language? Why would we rather our kids see heads blown off then someone having sex? It makes no sense to me.
And if we're going to really nitpick about bad language. Why didn't ain't make it on the list. That word—if you can call it a word—bugs the heck out of me! (Oh sorry, is heck a bad word because it's a substitute for hell?)
I'm just saying, maybe we should worry more about teaching our kids proper grammar, than fretting over synonyms.
What do you think? Do you think certain words are bad and should never be used except by drunk sailors in a bar? Why or why not?
***Added after some heated comments: I want to be really clear that my editor DID NOT insist that I remove or change the word. He simply brought up the possibility that it wouldn't be appropriate and let me make my own choice. Another beta reader also flagged that word, and after doing a google search, I decided there's enough controversy around that word for children that it wasn't worth alienating readers to keep it. Lane is write (see comments below) this is a business. And while I wouldn't have removed it if doing so damaged the story in some way, in this case it didn't. So I changed the word, to no ill effect toward the story at all.
It simply brought to mind a topic that I think about a lot. I'm not suggesting we all walk around dropping the Fbomb every other word. But that's just as irritating to me as using *like* every other word. To me it's more about effective communication and recognizing that words only have the power we give them. They are not bad. They can be used as weapons, but they don't have to be. And it's not just the *bad* words that can be wielded with ill intent and cause serious harm. Any word can do that.
So, please know that there was no censorship or anything from my publishing company or editor. I made the choice based on my own research and feedback from a few people. And while I do think it's silly and unnecessary, it's where we are as a society. ***
[image error]**Don't worry, Lexie World is now free of any words that might be offensive to others and contains a wonderful message on caring for the environment. I may not agree that words are bad, but I'm not out to offend anyone with my children's books. I hope you'll check it out on Goodreads and watch for it Dec. 20th**
