“I was an outcast. I was the fucking kid at lunch that didn’t...

“I was an outcast.  I was the fucking kid at lunch that didn’t know what table he was going to sit at every day.  Everyone else had signatures in their yearbook, and nice little notes from all their friends.  But my book was always empty.  The only person who signed it was the guidance counselor.  After that I was like fuck everyone.  Nobody gives a shit how I feel.  So I’m going to make other people feel the same way.  I started doing all kinds of fucked up shit.  I threw bricks at cars.  Spit on people.  Robbed younger kids.  I hated myself.  By the time I was twenty I was fucking suicidal.  No friends.  No family bonds.  I just didn’t feel required in this world.  That’s when I met Crystal.  I just saw her picture on Instagram to be honest.  I wanted to get with her.  But soon I realized this girl was different.  She actually cared about people.  She cared about the whole world.  She was like my opposite, but she never judged me.  She just listened to me.  She made me feel like I was fine.  That’s why I call her my light.  She’s the light that shined upon my darkness.  She taught me so much.  When she gets pissed off, or sad, she just deals with it alone.  She’s strong like that.  She doesn’t project it on other people like I did.  She’s the first person that made me sit down and think about how I affect the people around me.  We’ve been together for seven years now.  We make music together.  And I’m in a much better place.  If I’m feeling negative energy, I just put it into our music.  Maybe if there’s some kid out there who has it worse than I do, and he hears this stuff, I could be like the friend he never had.”