Model Citizens

Society seems to be playin' it a little fast and loose with the term 'model' these days. Example: Rob Kardashian's new girlfriend, Rita:

 

Alright. First of all, no model in the history of planet Earth has been named "Rita."

Rita, mami, I hate to break it to you but this is a model:

 

Sure, she looks like the specter of death itself, a terrifying albino Twizzler woman, but she is in fact an actual professional model. If you have ever described yourself as "curvy" or "sexually attractive to straight men" (especially a Kardashian) then I'm afraid you probably aren't a model, Rita.

I detest people like Rita and Jennifer Love Hewitt who say "I'm happy with my body!" Ok, well if you're happy then why the hell do you need to lie and pretend you're a size 2 or a model? You're not. I know it, you know it, and that poor exhausted shop girl at Bebe certainly knows it.

Instead, Rita should stick to being an obvious Rihanna impersonator. It doesn't say much for this great country of ours, but there's a market.