Real Life Diagnostics: Is There Enough Tension and Interest to Keep You Reading?

Critique By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines. 

Submissions currently in the queue: Two

Please Note: As of today, RLD slots are booked through July 27.

This week’s questions:

1. What are your expectations from these opening lines?

2. In your view, what promise is made to the reader?

3. Is there enough tension to keep you reading?

4. What is your overall impression?

Market/Genre: General Fiction

Note: This is a revised snippet: Here’s the original if you’d like to see what the author did. 

On to the diagnosis…
Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com