Seven and Eight of Wands

Drunk Tarot returns with actual alcohol, in this case the dregs of bottles I want to get rid of before I move. Mmm, rumaretto.

The Seven of Wands means bright luck in fire-type things, which is a little weird at first glance because the card is a person with one wand standing on a hill and fending off six others, and, like, it’s great that you have that nifty hill, Wand Person, but six on one is still not what I’d call awesome odds. Pretty sure unfortified hills can only do so much, especially when your ankles are right there.

But being practical is a Pentacles thing, and being rational is a Swords one. If any suit’s going to mix “good luck” and “battle against ridiculous odds” it’s this one. Passion! Inspiration! A chance to defy the odds and test your strength and what is valor? Everyone wants that, right?

The more specific meanings are confrontation, because duh,  and also challenge, which is how this card can be mnemonically bright luck. Lone Wand Person has a thing, possibly the hill or possibly what’s behind it, and that’s pretty damn great. It’s a top-quality hill, as hills go, the kind of hill you tell your grandchildren about. Bright luck is not all good, in general: in this case, when you have cool stuff, other people generally want that stuff, the jerks. But you still have it, and you have this nifty wand to smack them with, so A Winner Is You!

Other meanings of the Seven include perseverance, courage, defiance, and standing your ground all Tom Pettily. And honestly, in a suit that deals with relationships and passion, the chance to tell your enemies to fuck off is itself pretty great, maybe even better than the thing you’re fighting about at the time. Listen to the man, here. And then watch some decapitations. This scene would make a pretty decent visual Seven of Wands representation (the numbers are off, but whatevs) and Conan is now on my list of How Is This Not A Tarot Deck Already?

The Eight of Wands: Dicks…everywhere.

I mean.

You didn’t think we’d get through the suit without at least a couple of these, right?

Okay so there are eight wands and they’re falling or maybe flying but the point is they’re gonna HIT YOU IN THE FACE HOLY SHIT DO SOMETHING. Most decks really don’t provide more context on this one. Sometimes, there are eight wands zooming in a direction, and that just fucking happens okay?

Sure enough, this card is like “some shit is going down, it might be hitting the fan, and it’s definitely getting real at top fucking speed. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes you want the show to get on the road, already–but that means you have to be on the road with aforesaid show, making sure you’re handling the turns and have all of your–I don’t know, penguins?–secured. Buckle in and make sure you’ve handed your glasses to the ride attendant.

In a general sense, this is a major but meetable challenge in fire: passion, relationships, creativity, whatnot. Sometimes there are novel deadlines. Sometimes you have three projects you’re working on. Sometimes you’re into some people, and they’re into you, and that’s great but how the hell do you schedule them, and are you sure you’re not just NRE-ing out? Sometimes all of this happens at once.

The Eight doesn’t mean that you’ve got to slow down or drop some of what’s on your plate. It’s just a warning that things are gonna get…intense.