A simple way to help your kids understand their emotions

Have you ever got angry? What about cried over losing a good friend? And I’m sure you’ve been scared once or twice in your life too?

Well, guess what, your kids have the exact same emotions and feelings as you do and will go on to keep having them. However they’re less likely to be able to process them as well as an adult can. So, who’s better equipped at helping them navigate the often stormy waters of emotions than the ones who love them the most and who wants to see them thrive?

You.

There really are only two key ingredients to discussing
emotions (big or small) with your kids and they are:

1: Letting them know they’re not alone in how they’re
feeling.

2: And getting them to talk about how their feeling and discuss
any issues that arise. 

Sure, if there are some bigger issues at play, then a child
psychologist or counsellor is best, but if it’s entry level, get to know your
emotions stuff, then you as the parent is more than qualified.

Often though, we find so called negative emotions difficult to cope with and we just want to push them aside. They’re too hard, too scary and too inconvenient. We’re afraid of being swamped by a tsunami of feelings, our own, as well as other people’s.

[image error]

I can understand why. As a society, we’re not taught to be
comfortable with our emotions. We’re not taught about them in school, our
parents usually didn’t have a clue and advertising and the media only exploited
them, so they could make money off us.

But if there’s something that binds every single human being
together on this planet, it’s our emotions. We all have them, it’s part of
being human. The good ones and the so called bad ones (which aren’t really bad
at all).

[image error]

The key to being a happy healthy, well rounded human being
is to make friends with all of our emotions. Recognise them, acknowledge them
and notice how they feel and let them move through you like a bag of prunes. If
at any point we start to suppress, push down or hold them in, they’ll stay with
us and cloud how we see the world for the rest of our life. I know that from
personal experience, and I think you do too.

When I had the opportunity to write my kid’s book on emotions, ‘It’s Ok to Feel The Way You Do’ I approached it from the angle  “What would I tell my younger self about emotions and feelings that I know now?’

[image error]

I’ve felt sadness, anger, loneliness, pride and anxiety and
all the rest of the emotional range yet I’ve always tried to be comfortable
with them. They’re a part of me, so why would I deny them? I want to thrive in
this world, not just survive. Who wouldn’t want to share that with their
7-year-old self?

You have the same experience with emotions as I do. Don’t be afraid to tap onto your own experiences to help your kids be the best they can.

[image error]

You most probably already are doing these suggestions, but this what I’ve heard from parents that works well and they kind of just make sense.

Sit when your child and let them know what
they’re feeling is real. Try and avoid the urge fix anything. Let them know that they’re safe and allow them
to talk about what and how they’re feeling. Tell them that you have felt the same feelings as
well. It lets them know they’re not alone and that you’re human too. Ask them to notice how it feels in their body. –
what does it feel like? This helps them recognise feelings earlier when they
occur. Maybe they can draw a picture. Sit with them, be with them. Remind them that all
things will eventually pass.

By getting kids to understand and make friends with all their feelings, they’ll hopefully grow into adults who are better equipped to thrive in a rapidly changing world. And the world will be a much better place for it.

[image error]

‘Ok to Feel the Way You Do‘ is available from Dymocks,  Booktopia, Book Depository