Styś, Maleszewski, Ethnography and Apple Cake -how to spend a quiet day in Warsaw
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· A visit with Eugenuisz and Alina Styś
· Polish book launch in Warsaw
· Apple cake
What shall I start with?
Ok, I’ll begin with my visit to Eugenuisz and Alina Stys.
How to describe my emotions as I opened the door of the car and saw 84-year-old Eugenuisz Stys, with a smile from ear to ear, almost running to greet me? Right behind him was Alina, who has more trouble walking, but was propelling herself towards me. My feelings were a jumble of love, friendship and admiration. With so much history between our families and between us, time melted away and it was if I seen them just yesterday.
Sitting in their small living room, we talked for two hours about their health, their children, my children, the book, the upcoming event in Warsaw, and of course the Yad Vashem decision not to grant Righteous Among the Nations to Eugenuisz’s family (they are still upset, very upset). Grzegorz Malesewski joined us and it was just like old times – he looked me in the eye and spoke Polish with great enthusiasm as if I understood each word.
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Of the many things we discussed, one stands out – they tried to describe their feelings when their families would receive packages (they called them “patchkes”) from Sam and Esther in America. After the war, Poland was in the deep freeze of Communism and food, clothing and medicine were all scarce. Alina described a dress that Esther sent to her. It was as if she had won the lottery – she still remembers the details of the dress – the color, the design – and she said she only wore it on Sunday to Church – it was her most precious article of clothing. They described the chocolates that used to arrive and how this was better than Christmas because even on Christmas, they did not have such treats. Grzegorz, who was a boy during these years, said that the feeling in the household when a “patchke” from America arrived, was like nothing he can describe – one of his most joyous memories.
As I listened, I was amazed at the impact that these “patchkes” had on the life of the Stys family – they were almost in tears with just the thought of it. It speaks volumes that Sam and Esther, people of modest means, took their hard-earned money and used it to buy some special gifts for their Polish friends.
Before I met the Stys family, I only thought about the story from Sam and Esther’s perspective – that of the victims of Nazi hate and persecution who lost their families, survived mass murder, lived in a pit, and whose descendants will forever be affected. But, the Stys family was also deeply affected – both during and after the war. Their unabashed excitement at the publication of My Soul is Filled with Joy in Polish did not bring to me tears, but it was close.
This time the Treiger family was well represented – my nephew Shmuel Treiger was with me and, having heard Sam and Esther stories his whole life and having read the book, he was well acquainted with the Stys family before he walked through the kitchen into the small living room with the Christian art on the sparse walls.
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It was deeply moving to see Shmuel with Eugenuisz and Alina and to show him the barn (had to take a picture of my book in the barn!) and, together with Grzegorz, we walked out to the pit. This walk into the forest was quite different than last time. Eugenuisz did not lead the way and we had some trouble finding the pit. We found it, but only after looking at pictures from three years ago to confirm that it was the right spot. We took lots of pictures so that in the future we can find it again. Shlomo and I have a dream of putting a marker at the pit to commemorate this holy space. Grzegorz will try to find out who owns the property to see if permission can be granted for such a memorial stone.
As I said goodbye to Eugenuisz he said, “I am not sure if I will see up again.” He meant – he may die before I come back to Poland. That made me sad, but it also made me think about how lucky we are to have met all three Stys family members when we did – Janina, Jan and Eugenuisz. As we hugged goodbye – I felt sure that we would see each other again. I hope it’s true.
After returning to Warsaw, I had 30 minutes to change my clothes and get ready for my book event. I wore long white pants with a long sleeve shirt, anticipating that it might be cool in the National Ethnography Museum. But alas, there was no air conditioning in this old beautiful, building and it was hot. Lucky for me there was a fan that pointed at the front of the room – some small relief. Aleksander Czyzewski, the translator of the book and my translator for the evening was ready to go – in a blue suit, white shirt and red bow tie. He looked great.
The event was held in the long narrow space just to the left of the entryway, used as the Museum coffee shop. As I approached the front of the space where the screen and projector were stationed, I stopped and stared – there was the book, stacked on a display – in Polish. I picked it up and held it, wondering how exactly I had gotten to this place in life – that I am here in Warsaw selling a book in Polish about my-in-laws. I must be just a little meshuga!
But ok – here I am – as they say in Yoga – try to be present. I tried as I welcomed 30 guests, including Grzegorz, seven descendants of Helena and Aleksander Stys’s family, Joanna Millick’s sister Ula– who was there with some other friends of Joanna–a Priest and a woman who together spend every fourth Sunday at Treblinka reading names of the victims in memory of those who were murdered there, a man whose father used to live in Seattle, and many more interesting people.
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I spoke for around 45 minutes with Aleks translating. I left out the jokes because I did not think they would translate well. Then I invited Grzegorz up to the front to speak. I decided, since the only non-Polish speakers in the room were Shmuel, Rebecca (my cousin from NY) and myself, that we would not interrupt him for translation to English. I could not understand his words, but I felt his emotion – tears brimmed in his eyes as he spoke. In the room there was a palpable silence as everyone listened to Grzegorz tell his story.
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I finished up with pictures of our visit to the barn and the pit in 2016 and the video clip of my family singing Shlomo’s song to the Stys family and then Janina singing back to us in Polish. I ended reminding people not to take life for granted, be aware of the choices we make and encouraged people to investigate their own family history.
After the polite applause, I signed a lot of books, took some photos and ate apple cake. The Czyzewski family arranged with the Warsaw JCC to bake apple cake to serve at the event. “Why apple cake?” you might ask. Well, in the book I give a mouth-watering description of Esther’s apple cake – so they decided in Esther’s honor, they would serve apple cake.
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This is just one small detail that evidences the thoughtfulness of Aleksander and Adam Czyzewski and Ezbieta Czyzewska. The care and attention with which the book was translated, edited and published and the way the book event was crafted and executed is further evidence (if I needed it) of the fine character of this family. I want to say a deeply felt thank you to all of them for being part of my life and for helping me make the dream of a Polish version of the book come true.
Dziękuję Ci!
