Toning-Up

…And then there was this pest of a girl.  He sighed.
Women were for recreation.  On a job, they got in the way and fogged things up with sex and hurt feelings and all the emotional baggage they carried around.  One had to look out for them and take care of them.
“Bitch,” said James Bond.
--The James Bond Dossier by Kingsley Amis
Funny how Alan wrote out this postcard for me this week, using a photo taken by renown photographer, Herb Ritts, in 1990 while in Mexico.   The image is of a gay couple that became famous on OPRAH back in 1989 (Bob Paris and Rod Jackson).  I still remember that Bob Paris was my age (born in 1959) and I thought he was always too bulky ‘big’…but such is the life of a bodybuilder.  
In the July 1989 issue of IRONMAN, Bob Paris came out in the media as a gay man. He was the world's first male professional athlete, in any sport, to come out in the media while still an active competitor in his sport.  The same year, Paris appeared on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" discussing marriage and being gay. Oprah asked Paris, "Bob, why not just stay in the closet?" Paris explained how "you fall in love" and that it doesn't feel right to hide it. Paris and his former boyfriend, Rod Jackson, became symbols for gay marriage and advocated gay rights. Paris's career ended up suffering because he came out as gay; he claims his life was even threatened through mail and by phone.  Paris lost about 80% of his bookings and endorsements for bodybuilding.  He retired from bodybuilding in 1991.
After seven years of being together, Paris and Jackson split up. Paris admits that he kept trying to keep his relationship going even when he knew better; Paris felt that he would be giving gays a bad image if he and Jackson broke up.
In 2012, Paris explained on his website that he never wanted to be a "lifestyle bodybuilder." Paris enjoyed the discipline and focus bodybuilding engendered; he also simply just excelled at the sport.  To Paris, Bodybuilding allowed him to be artistic and a jock all at once, and also bodybuilding allowed him to exert his physical presence to the world in a way that demonstrated that he was a man. Today Paris is still active in fitness but not as serious as he once was. Paris believes exercise is part of having a more fulfilling life.  Paris saw himself more as a writer over anything else. However, Paris believes bodybuilding saved his life and structured him to be the man he is today. 
Today, Paris lives with his spouse, Brian LeFurgey, on an island near Vancouver, British Columbia. Together since 1996, Bob and Brian were legally married in British Columbia after the province equalized the marriage laws in 2003.
Paloma always told me, “Short men should never get into body building.”
I’m not short but I was always more into ‘toning-up’ versus ‘bulking-up’. 
Alan wrote on the back of the sexy postcard:

6/27
Michael,
I Love You.  This reminds me of a bathroom I know very well. 
Thanks for the cassette tape of music.
And especially FOR YU…there  is not song that has been written that I can describe how I really feel.  Maybe Leonard Cohen’s song comes closest.
Love,
Alan
I believe Alan was referring to the song by Leonard Cohen called I’M YOUR MAN.   I must listen to it again.   Ah, I must listen to more Leonard Cohen.  His lyrics are significant in many ways for various reasons.
“This world is full of conflicts and full of things that cannot be reconciled.  But there are moments when we can... reconcile and embrace the whole mess, and that's what I mean by 'Hallelujah’.”
--Leonard Cohen