Real Life Diagnostics: Does This Opening Page Feel Slow?

Critique By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines. 

Submissions currently in the queue: None

Please Note: As of today, RLD slots are open.

This week’s questions:

I'm trying to establish the narrator's personality and the environment he's operating in. I'm worried this opening may be slow because it's telling. Can I have your opinion on this?

Market/Genre: Humorous Mystery (Heist)

On to the diagnosis…

Continue ReadingWritten by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com