Diya Rai – The Suicidal One

“Tuition?” Diya screamed out her lungs. She was a topper in her class, yet her father was approaching her with the idea of sending her to a tuition. It was quite horrific for her.

“Ahhhh! Don’t yell, Diya. You’re in your ninth grade. You have to compulsorily attend tuition for your tenth grade. So why don’t you practice from now onward?”

“Papa, I hate tuition.”

“Who doesn’t hate tuition? Everyone does. Tuition doesn’t hate you, it loves students. Hence, it’s a compulsion. Your mom has inquired in a few academies and she will be paying the fees tomorrow.”

“Arey, let her not attend an academy. Let that wait for her tenth grade. We’ll send her to a local one,” added Mamta Rai.

“Whatever, she must go to a tuition,” declared Rohit Rai.

Diya was driven to tears at that moment. Her intelligence was being tested, yet she couldn’t do anything. She couldn’t argue with her parents on that issue. If they were determined to send her to tuition, then that was it. She was already drained out of energy because of the Karan episode. She didn’t have any energy left to fight with her parents.

“Okay, I will attend.” With those words, she entered her room and slammed the door behind her. Safely cocooned inside, she let out her tears. Crying was her favorite escape from facing the reality. At that moment, she decided that she would fight for her wishes and passion in the future, that she would be determined in her decisions.

*****

Contrary to her beliefs, Diya Rai enjoyed going to tuition. Within two weeks, she felt comfortable in her surroundings and started to make friends. She struck up a friendship with a Sonam, whom she categorized as sweet and bubbly. She was also a buddy to Rahul, a sturdy fellow with a witty sense of humor. She began enjoying her tuition life with her new friends.

And then joined Himanshu. He was rumoured to be a failed 10th grader. He was also timid in appearance, always with a lopsided grin hanging on his face. His incisors were protruding which made his speech rather difficult and his mouth sloppy with saliva. Nobody cared about him much. Usually he took the last row and minded his own business, quipping in only when needed, but he had an eye on Diya. Whenever there was a chance, he tried to strike up a conversation with her, though she cleverly avoided him on most occasions.

The conversations would be like this.

Himanshu: Hey, Diya, what’re you doing?

He would ask even after noticing that she was devouring her Physics textbook.

Diya: Ummm..I am trying to find out the name of Shah Rukh Khan’s next movie. Would you help me with it?

Sonam and Rahul burst into peals of laughter, but Himanshu tried to cover up his embarrassment.

Himanshu: Well, I am just a student. Not an entertainment news investigator.

Diya: Oh, is it? Then, being a student, why do you ask such stupid questions? Don’t you see that I am studying Physics?

Himanshu: Sorry, Diya. I didn’t know what else to speak.

Diya: Better luck next time. Try to come up with interesting topics to speak about.

Though Himanshu deeply despised Diya’s sarcastic tone, he bore with it every time, as he was fond of her.

*****

“Hey! Don’t you think Himanshu is hitting upon you?” whispered Rahul, while flipping the pages of the Maths textbook.

“What the hell! He cannot even pronounce my name properly. It sounds like ‘Jiya’. How can he hit upon me? I always try to ignore him. He doesn’t know about me well. How can someone fall for me without knowing about me completely?” Diya was disgusted. Yes, she was disgusted to the prying eyes of boys who looked at her with a notion of proposing to her. She had nurtured hatred for the emotion called ‘love’. She owed her hatred to Karan.

“Cool! It does look like that. Now watch! Hey, Himanshu, Diya is asking you whether you can teach her a sum in Maths. Can you?”

Himanshu nodded his head fiercely.

“Stop it, Rahul! Oh my God! He is coming to our row.” Diya hung her head down immediately. Being taught by Himanshu was the last thing on her mind.

“Hi, Diya, show me the problem. I will teach you.” Himanshu almost swallowed half of the words.

“No need, Himanshu. Rahul was just bluffing.”

“Oh!” Disappointment was written all over his face. Yet he didn’t move his body. He kept staring at her.

“What?” She asked in an irritated tone.

“I..I..nothing..” He blabbered and moved away.

“Ha ha ha ha! I told you, right?” Rahul squealed with laughter.

“Well, excuse me, Diya.” Himanshu was back at her place.

“Now what?” Disgust was peaking inside her mind.

“If you have doubt in any problem, just call me. I will teach you. I am there for you, Diya.”

“Wow! That was cheesy, Himanshu. But, no, I don’t need any help from you. Thanks!” She snapped at him.

Himanshu moved away, dejected.

“He he hee heeee!” Rahul couldn’t control his laughter.

“Stop laughing, Rahul! Himanshu is pissing me off.”

“This shows that he is in love with you. ‘I am there for you, Diya’. Wow! What a romantic line it was! Ha ha haaa!”

“Idiot!” yelled Diya.

After the tuition was over, Himanshu waited for Diya at the entrance. But she swiftly ignored him and moved away with Sonam. He began following her.

“Diya, I think he is following you. Just look back,” whispered Sonam.

“I know that. If I look back, he will take that as an advantage. By any means, I don’t want to encourage his romantic advances.”

That was Diya. Firm and determined to not give in.

*****

When in love, people begin to behave in the weirdest way possible. They collect things that their lovers have dropped. They don’t even leave the discarded pencil waste from their lover’s sharpener. They stalk till their lover reaches his/her home and slams the door at their face. They daydream, forgetting their very own existence. Every sentence spoken by them has an indirect reference to their special someone. They steal glances whenever and wherever possible. They sing songs in the bathroom, thinking – oops! – fantasizing about their lover. Not a word spoken by their parents or family members gets registered in their mind. It’s like that their lover is the The Supreme Lord for them.

Himanshu wasn’t an exception. Despite Diya’s impassive attitude, he clung to her like a leech. He even started a ‘pen saga’. He would claim that he forgot to bring his pen. Then he would ask another guy to borrow a pen from Diya. He will then use it. Then the guy would return it to Diya.

Initially, Diya was oblivious to such a thing happening behind her. Then she noticed. Her favorite floral blue pen in Himanshu’s hand!

‘What the heck!’ She thought, as she wondered how to retrieve the pen from him sans talking to him.

‘That’s not possible. I am not dumb. I think this is a smart plan by him to make me talk with him. Let me play it safe.’ Diya realized.

“Rahul, I think my pen is with Himanshu. Just go and get it from him.” She mumbled in his ear.

“Arey, he craves to speak to you. That’s why he had borrowed your pen.”

“Stupid! He didn’t borrow it directly, so that I will wonder how it ended up in his hand and approach him for an explanation. If he is smart, then I will prove that I am way too intelligent for him.”

“Ha ha! Look at you, Diya. You’re miserable. Pity on you. Okay, I will get it from him.”

Diya flashed a weak smile. She was extremely perturbed by Himanshu’s actions. He was a stark put off for her.

Finally, the pen reached her hands, but the saga continued thereafter. Every other day, Diya would find her pen in Himanshu’s hand. Though it was a source of entertainment for him to see her turning uneasy at the revelation, it looked like the rarest of the rarest crime for her and she equated Himanshu to a criminal.

*****

“Diya, now is the right time to speak with you.” It was Sumrit, yet another chum of her in the tuition, but he was also a good friend to Himanshu. That made her to distance herself from him.

“Hi, Sum, what’s the matter?” She asked him, while her eyes roved around the classroom and found that her stalker was absent.

“Well, I think most probably you’d have guessed this. What do you think about Himanshu?”

“He is a brat. Why does he behave in such a peculiar manner? Right from the beginning, I’ve been avoiding him. Arey yaar, I don’t even want to be his friend. Why is he bothered about me?”

“Bothered? You are not just a ‘bother’, Diya. You are his life. He is in love with you.”

Diya glowered at him. “Hey Ram! Why should this happen to me always? And why should it happen like this? Don’t you guys have the courage to face a girl and propose to her? Should it be done through someone else every time? First it was Akshay, then Karan, and now Himanshu! Cowards! They are afraid to face me and confess their feelings, yet they want me to know what they feel about me. Ridiculous!”

“Cool down, Diya. It’s not easy being a boy. And it’s not that easy to face the girl whom we love and speak our heart out. It needs immense courage. Almost every boy fails in that. Just understand.”

“Sumrit, haven’t you seen movies of the 70s or 80s? Even during those days, men have faced women directly and proposed their love. Is it such a big issue nowadays? If you can’t face the girl and propose to her, how will you take care of her lifelong?”

“I agree with you, Diya. However, a direct proposal needs time. You can’t propose to a girl who is known to you only for three months.”

“Then why do you propose? Why can’t you wait for some more time?”

“What if the girl begins to love someone else? That’s why guys propose hurriedly. Especially through a messenger. Well, let me make it clear to you. Himanshu did not send me to convey his proposal. It was I who blurted it out. Okay?”

“What? Are you bringing in a twist? Was Himanshu really waiting to propose to me directly? Is he that brave?”

“Maybe. Well, don’t tell him that you know about this. Maintain it as a secret. I think he has a plan for a grand proposal.”

Diya creased her eyebrows. She did not even know what a grand proposal meant.

“What in the world is a grand proposal?”

“Flowers, chocolates, teddy bears and everything that is pink.”

“Bullshit! Chod do, Sumrit. Don’t fuss over this. I’ll take care of him, if he ever comes up with such a proposal.”

“Okay, Diya. And I am sorry, I have spoiled your mood.”

“That’s okay, Sum. You needn’t be sorry.” She curved her lips into a wide grin, which soothed Sumrit’s guilt.

*****

Diya thumped her fist on the desk. It was Himanshu again. He was asking for a pen. That too, he was asking directly to her.

“No! I don’t have.” She said curtly, while hiding her spare pen inside her notebook.

Himanshu made a puppy face and proceeded to ask others. It turned out that no one had an extra pen with them. Eventually, he approached the tuition master Ravishankar. The latter, being a brilliant one, approached Diya.

“Diya!” He called her.

“Yes, sir.”

“I think you’ll have an extra pen. Give it to Himanshu.”

There was no way that Diya could go against her tutor. She brought out her hidden pen and hesitantly handed it to Himanshu. He wickedly grinned at her as he received it. In turn, she fumed with anger.

After a few angry minutes, she called out to the boy seated next to Himanshu.

“Hey, Rishabh.”

“Yes, Diya, any problem? You seem to be angry.”

“Of course, I am. Ask Himanshu to throw that pen away into the dustbin after using it. It shouldn’t come to my hand again.”

“Oh my! That’s too rude, Diya. He is very sensitive.”

“Just say it!” She hollered.

But Himanshu had overheard the conversation. Immediately he burst into a bout of tears. Diya was taken aback. She didn’t expect such a reaction from him. She also felt bad for making him cry. She felt guilty of her words which had hurt him deeply.

“Oh shit! What have you done, Diya? He is crying,” yelled Shubha, who was seated in front of Himanshu.

The tutor was oblivious to the incident. He was busily teaching a few 12th graders in the front row. Himanshu’s tears were unstoppable.

“Do something, Diya. Pacify him.” It was Sonam.

But Diya did not budge. She remained like a rock.

“Diya, is your heart made out of stone? Look at him and tell, ‘I love you.’ That will pacify him.” Shubha put forth her view.

Diya flashed a piercing glare at her, while Rahul spoke, “Hey, don’t disturb her. Himanshu deserves that. What did he think about her?”

“Heartless idiots! Don’t you even have basic humanity?” Shubha felt pissed.

For the first time, Diya stole glances at a crying Himanshu. Though she felt remorseful, she couldn’t do anything.

The bell rung. Diya and Rahul stayed back, while the others dispersed. She stood up and looked through the window. She saw that Himanshu was gesticulating something furiously to Shubha. She felt puzzled.

After a few minutes, Shubha entered the classroom and patted on Diya’s back.

“Are you happy now, Diya? Himanshu says that he is going to commit suicide. He also added that he cannot live without you.”

“WHAT THE HELL!” Diya shrieked at the top of her lungs.

“Silence! What’s happening there? Diya, Rahul and Shubha, you can leave. Come tomorrow evening.”

“Okay, sir.” They chorused together.

Once outside, Diya fidgeted with her fingers nervously. She had never imagined that a boy would take away his life because of her.

“What are you saying, Shubha?” Her voice turned shaky.

“That’s true, Diya. He told he will commit suicide.”

“Suicide? Is that even a solution for his problem? God! There are hell lot of girls out there. If I don’t accept him, it doesn’t mean its the end of the world. And, leave all that, he is a failed 10th grader, right?”

“Yes, he is. He holds two arrears.”

“He will come to tuition in the morning also. Tell him to pass his 10th grade first. Let him think about love later. There are many years to fall in love, but there is only another chance for him to pass his 10th grade and save his name. If he doesn’t, then he has to give his exams along with us. That would be too shameful. Do you understand? Will you convey this to him?”

“Of course, Diya, I will. You’ve opened my eyes. Sorry for my earlier outburst. As you say, his studies must be his first priority. I will make him understand. You don’t worry. He will not commit suicide. It’s just a threat so that you accept him.”

“Thank God! Even then, I am afraid. Just make sure he attends the tuition tomorrow morning. If he is missing, then I am sure that I’ll be behind the bars for abettment of suicide.”

“Ha ha ha! Don’t panic, girl. I will take care of him.”

“Thank you, Shubha. Bye Rahul.” She smiled and waved at them. She then made her way to home, all the while thinking about Himanshu’s stupidity.

*****

As luck could have it, Himanshu was alive. Diya got to know through Rahul. She was also happy that her advice had reached him. She stopped attending the tuition, stating to her parents that she needs to join in an academy for her 10th grade. Her parents readily agreed with her. Though she missed Rahul and Sonam immensely, she looked forward to a Himanshu-free life ahead.

**********