1: Change

From 516: A Year and Change, the post that started it all:

Now, I'm staring down the barrelhead of forty. I have – give me a moment to calculate, carry the one… ah – 516 days until I turn forty. A year and change. I don't fret the Big Ones too much – it's the little ones that sneak up on you and accumulate while you're not looking – but it's as good a day as any to shoot for.

Shoot for what, you ask? Change. While I have lost all the things that were good about me at 24 – the anti-gravity boobs, the unlined face, the boundless energy and the ability to wear short skirts – I have kept many of the bad things. The willful ignorance of my own feelings and motivations; the lack of understanding of where I came from and where I'm going; the need to not be a burden while taking on as many burdens as I can carry; the certainty that I understood how the world worked, what was good and what was bad, and how I fit into the whole big mess.

There is nothing, Dear Reader, more damaging than certainty.

I don't think I can ever adequately express the breadth of my gratitude to all of you. Whether you've been here from day one or just hopped in last week, you have been part of this journey, my journey, and I thank you for that. This process has brought me peace, love, and understanding, Bacon and Betties, and I will always look back on this time in my life with wonder and humility, because I still don't understand why I won this incredible life lottery, why I got to be the person who assembled this incredible group of people together. I can only attribute it to outrageous fortune and unfathomable blessing. I am, quite literally, the luckiest bitch in the world.

Tomorrow in this space will be a quick post with links to the Bettyverse, which opens for business in the morning. I will writing the opening post there, which will show up on the 8th, and then I'll be posting every Monday thereafter. What you will soon come to realize, though, is that I'm far less unique and essential to this community than it appears. I'm going to happily step aside and let some of you discover how much you don't need me.

Have a wonderful day, Betties, and while it's so inadequate as to be laughable, it needs saying so… thank you.