Plan for spontaneity
As the boys and I began to plot our summer, we fell back to
the great activity we started last year. We listed many activities to add
simple joys into our lives and folded them on paper strips that we could draw
at random from a glass jar.
This may seem like a simple, yet fun, way to plot your
summer, but for us, it represents an entirely different worldview. We had been
that stereotypical family that overplanned and detailed their days out far in
advance so that there was little wiggle room. The pressure to make it through
everything was at a constant high, and emotional burden from failed efforts
constantly nagged at us.
Last year, I knew my family needed to feel a change. We
couldn’t continue feeling constantly frustrated or disappointed or angry at
each other, all as fallouts from not meeting our own ridiculous expectations.
We needed a way to force ourselves to slow down and to take each day at a time.
I’m not quite sure where the idea came from, but I’m forever
grateful that we implemented it. Choosing our activities at random taught us to
be open to new experiences and to be spontaneous. The activities themselves
ranged from typical summer items like going to the beach, to things that were
simple, but caused us to remember the small joys in life. Think walk barefoot
outside or do cartwheels, anything that would give you a few moments to connect
with yourself and with your world.
Recently, I’ve seen some negative reviews about the book I
wrote to highlight how significantly our lives were impacted, and I have felt a
little down about that. I received so much encouragement as I told people what
had changed in our lives and what we had learned, but I know this comes across
much more enthusiastically in person versus in writing. I’m planning to address
those comments and change some story details so that it reflects this better.
But to be honest, as the boys and I read through our
activity strips from last year and thought about new ones we wanted to add, I
felt a renewed sense of purpose. I know that my family isn’t the only one who
struggles in this way and I still believe in the message I wanted to bring to people:
changing how we go about our family activities needs an overhaul and we need to
bring back simple ways of connecting and enjoying our time together.
Memories with children should be based on moments of joy and
not just ways to fill time, so the simpler, the better. As parents, sometimes
it is hard to recognize when we’re trying to cram too much in for the sake of
doing everything possible instead of truly immersing ourselves in something in
a way that brings peaceful enjoyment. After all, if you’re not happy running up
against a hundred deadlines, how happy do you think your children are?
