Passing Judgment

When you hear the term “Judgement Day” many things may come to mind; anywhere from the Biblical sense to one of the “Terminator” movies with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

But, we all make judgments every day. Think about the times during today that you’ve passed judgement. You pass judgement on the person who pulls in front of you on the street and causes you to swerve or slow down. Most people not only judge the offender as a hazard, but even equate their IQ to their driving habits, though, I don’t think this has ever been scientifically established.

You judge people for what they wear. Again, many times equating their level of intelligence with their clothing. You might say something like, “A person would have to be really stupid to wear that!” I did something similar earlier this week. A man I believe to be between 45-55 years old came into the gym with sweat bands on his head and wrists, short gym shorts, and black socks that came all the way to his knees. I had to laugh! My judgement was that he was somehow stuck in a time-warp.

You get the point, we all pass judgement each and every day. It’s a part of our lives. It seems to be a part of every culture. Does passing judgement so much and so often cause any problems in our lives? The answer is “Yes!” Every time we pass judgement on a person or situation it reinforces and supports a belief.

Let me give you an example:

My father is the type of man who wears a frown on his face much of the time and many times he seemed mean or angry. Because of this, my belief was that a person with a frown meant that they were mean or angry. This caused me to avoid people who were frowning. I began questioning this belief. I began wondering if I might be projecting my perception on people. So, I took the opportunity at a networking event to test out my belief that people who are frowning are mean. I went up to a man who is probably late 60’s to early 70’s and introduced myself, but, this time I did it in just the same way as I do with “non-frowners”. To my surprise, a warm, inviting smile came to this man’s face and a wonderful conversation ensued. I have since done this many times and have gotten the same result. My old belief that people who are frowning are mean or angry is now gone.

I want to interject some facts to think about the next time you want to make a judgment; We have 2 Terabytes of information coming in upon us at any point in time. Yet, our five senses can only process 11 Megabytes. That’s about 5%. Which means that 95% of the information eludes your conscious mind.

Also, please note that neuroscience tells us that 70% of the information you think you are sensing is actually made up from memories of prior experiences. Old sayings, like, “I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t seen it” or “I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t heard it with my own two ears” hold less validity now, do they not?

Is it fair to say these last two points should cause us to stop and really think before we make any further judgments,?

Here is an experience of a friend of mine that shows how our perceptions and resulting judgments should constantly be questioned. My friend grew up with the belief that her mother was a terrible, worthless person. She avoided any contact with her because she felt that her mother would want to “leech” off her and her family. An opportunity arose that required her to be in contact with her mother. What she discovered was that the mother was very wealthy and an executive in a large corporation! She also discovered that the other things told to her about her mother weren’t true. They are now back together and loving the opportunities being a family now affords them!

The point here is to reinforce what I have said many times; We create our own reality through the beliefs we hold in our minds. Whether it is relationships, finances, health, serving others, your career, or another important area of life, here are some questions to consider:

What opportunities have you missed because of the judgments you have made and beliefs you’ve held?

What happiness have you missed out on because you didn’t validate long-held beliefs?

What joys have you not experienced because of perceptions that were clouded?

By living intentionally and taking the time (Yes…taking time!) to see if the reality we are living is more than just a perception, we can find a richness in life that most people will never experience.

Interested in learning more about managing your mind and increasing happiness and satisfaction in your life? Contact me today!

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+++++++++++++++About Dr. Edward Lewellen++++++++++++++++

Dr. Edward Lewellen is an expert in creating methodologies for people to learn to use their mind; their beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors, and put them back in control of their lives and become top-producers. He is a Master Executive Coach, leadership and sales expert, and keynote speaker for some of the largest global organizations.

Author of The 90-Second Mind Manager