How To Be An Internet Tough Guy

Have you ever wondered what it takes to be an internet tough guy?

Well, I’ve created a simple DO and DON’T list that should start you on your path to winning at the internet.

DO

Claim to do MMA
“SAY THAT TO MY FACE!!”
“I’LL KICK YOUR ASS!!”
Claim to be the strongest in gym
Claim to be an ex-Marine
Claim to get laid a lot
Claim they were all models
“Do you even lift, bro?”
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DON’T

Claim to do Taekwondo
Appear in person to talk
Post shirtless pictures
Post lifting video
Claim to be ex-Airforce
Claim they live in another town
Claim they were foot models*
Provide numbers
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*Not kink shaming, but this is the internet tough guy wars that only a certain type of guy – always a guy – engages in.