A Guide to Helping Your Aging Parents Downsize

There may come a time when your aging parents’ home becomes too large or difficult for them to manage, and it makes sense to downsize.

That might mean your parents moving in with you, moving into assisted living, or just moving into a smaller home or apartment.

Making the decision to downsize is tough, but can be very beneficial in the long run. Here’s how you can help your loved ones make a smooth transition to their new home.

Preparing for the Move

Before your family member moves, everyone involved needs to know what to expect. Communication is key throughout this process. Make sure to discuss the time frame of the move with your loved ones. They should know when to start packing, how long they have until moving day, and who will be assisting with the process. This will help avoid confusion.

Keep in mind:

A downsize of this caliber is going to require the ability to delegate and organize your loved ones’ items.
Moving can cause a lot of stress on your loved ones – they may be reluctant at first or along the way.
Your attitude towards the transition can have a big impact on how easy or difficult the moving process will be.

Set Firm Dates

Create a calendar to outline all the aspects of this move to ensure that everyone is on the same page. Make sure to block out time for:

Decluttering, organizing and downsizing
Donation drop-offs, holding a garage or estate sale, and/or junk removal
Packing
Renting a moving truck or hiring a professional mover
Moving day
Unpacking boxes and setting up the new place

Decluttering and Organizing

Downsizing is no small task, and doing too much at once can be overwhelming. Make sure to take it slow, and give your family members plenty of time to make things easier on them. Remember that your loved ones’ participation in this process can help them feel in control, which can minimize anxiety and calm their nervousness about the big move.

Try to keep packing, sorting and organizing confined to less than a couple of hours per day, and make it a sociable experience. If your parent wants to stop and reminisce, join in; it will make the transition more enjoyable for them.

If the person who is moving has a lot of things (furniture, keepsakes, etc.) that can’t come along, there are decisions to make. These decisions should be made by your loved ones – after all, it’s their belongings in question, not yours (think about how you’d feel if someone suddenly took the reins and dictated what was going to happen to your stuff!).

Together, you can categorize each item and put them in separate piles to sell, donate, or give to family or friends. While putting your loved one’s things in a storage unit may seem like a great option, especially if they are hesitant about parting with their belongings, this should be avoided as it just delays the decision-making.

Float the idea of having your loved ones invite family members and friends over to look at their belongings and put their name on anything they would like to keep. This can help take the pressure off having to get rid of items that have brought them joy in the past. You can also have their adult children claim their own (but only their own!) keepsakes during the process. Old sports trophies, high school yearbooks, and other items can go home with their owners to make things easier for everyone.

Keep all important paperwork like birth certificates, deeds, financial documents, medical records, passports, wills, and powers of attorney in a central location, like a safe deposit box. Let key family members know where they are and how to access them.

If you run into conflicts or feel you need help at any point in the process, consider hiring a professional organizer or senior move manager. The pros know how to declutter efficiently, and are usually experienced at mediating any conflict and working through issues that may arise over possessions.

Packing and Unpacking

Once you have packed everything into boxes for the move, label all boxes with the room they will be moved to at their destination. Also note the general category of contents such as bedding, bath towels, or dishware. For those things you may need right away such as a box cutter, toilet paper, coffee and coffee maker(!), pack a box labeled “Open First” or take it with you in your car.

In addition to helping your loved ones to declutter and pack, offer them assistance in unpacking and setting up their new home. Make it a fun and enjoyable experience to give their new place a warm and loving welcome. Be sure to check in on your loved one regularly in the months after the move, to see how they are adjusting to their new home.

Whether your loved one is moving to Phoenix, AZ, Orlando, FL, or somewhere else entirely, adjusting to life in a new place can be challenging. It involves big changes, like leaving behind a home and all the memories it contains, as well as the feeling of losing a measure of freedom.

You can support your loved one by being there for them during this time and helping them plan, organize, and settle in to their new home. Following these tips will ensure you and your loved ones are able to make the transition as painless as possible.

Jennifer Karami is a writer at Redfin, a technology-enabled real estate brokerage. With a 1% listing fee and full-service agents, Redfin’s mission is to redefine real estate in the customer’s favor.

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