No sale, but there will be freebies…

Well, it's now official: there won't be a holiday sale after all. To accomplish what I wanted, Smashwords wants me to generate one coupon code per book. There is no option for me to make up a coupon code that is relevant to my sale, only a random character generator that I must use for every title, and then keep a huge list of coupon codes straight during only a few weeks of promotion. This would end up confusing customers and sending them away, and this is why I wrote to Smashwords to ask for help. First of all, they didn't answer me for a week, and when they did, they told me that they can't make coupon codes for my books. Then they ended their letter ruining my plans with . I'm not sure if they realized how flippant that came across as, but I was so mad that I had to point out that it was that smiley at the end that convinced me to never write for tech support again.

Please note that Smashwords CAN make coupon codes for site-wide sales, and that those coupon codes are not random letters. A 25% Summer Sale code for this year's sale used SSW025. (The code expired, but will likely be used next summer too.) Very straightforward, easy to remember, and what's more, easy to tell how much the discount is good for. So it would be GREAT if I could have had them generate a code like HO099 for my sale. Instead, I would have given you a list of 32 codes like C0XUP, MY4S5, RH4RD, 0MGN0, WA1W4T, W41D0, UH8M3, SM5HWRD5, UDU05H3, and whatnot.

My liaison also added insult to injury by claiming that Smashwords had plans to "fix that soon." Mark Coker said the same thing about problems I had with the site in 2009. Those problems are still there, including the one Mark claims they fixed, the limited book blurb size. (Every other vendor will give you 4,000 characters to write a blurb. Smashwords added an "extended blurb" to their site design, but the one they send to other vendors is still the 400 character version.) When I complained in 2010 that they were still no where closer to fixing those problems, Mark said I wasn't cutting them enough slack cause they're just a little company. But he assured me again, they really had plans to update the site to address my problems. One year later when my liaison makes the same claim, I'm at my limits for suspension of disbelief because nothing Mark claimed would be fixed ever was. I wouldn't rightly call it lying. The company just doesn't have a history on delivering anything they've claimed was "coming soon." Two years later is not soon by any reasonable definition of time, and in any case, I don't believe these problems will be fixed in 2013 either.

So that's it. I'm officially done trying to promote my books with ideas that larger publishers could pull off using their own site-wide promotions. I must remember that even though I have a bookstore, and even though the owners of that store claim I can set my own policies, the fact is Smashwords has at every turn hamstrung me and made promoting their site harder and harder. I can't leave, because being in Italy, most of Smashwords' so-called competition are all US-only vendors. I can't pack up my toys and go somewhere else because there isn't anything else. I have to accept site as it is, even if I don't like anything about it. Not Meatgrinder, not the site design, not the pathetic power play of forcing everyone to put "Smashwords edition" in the copyright and cowardly claiming it's not a requirement when it most certainly is if you want to avoid hassles. I can't stand Mark Coker's attitude toward serial fiction, or his inability to work with indie writers on any of our issues with his precious project. But, there's nothing I can do, because nobody at Smashwords cares if their service is poor. Their word is law, and the rest of us just have to suck it up and accept their lack of support.

I feel like an abused wife telling my friends "But sometimes he's really good to me." Except, I can't give you one example of me contacting Smashwords customer support where I didn't feel diminished as a person. I'm helpless to every dictation made by the owners, and I'm daily hampered by the limitations of their site. And no matter how much I ask for help, everyone involved over there has made the experience of self-publishing unpleasant.

I can't pick take my business elsewhere and expect better treatment. Hell, if I try to publish Blood Relations on Amazon again, they'll hide the book and pretend it doesn't exist because a big publisher released a book with the same title. So now mine doesn't exist because I'm the little indie and it's easy to make me go away. The only store I have left to sell from ALSO makes me feel just as dirty for trying to plan any promotions as I did selling through Amazon.

BUT, I promised free books, and I'm going to do that. I'm going to make the coupon codes for the free books and put a list up here. I'm going to tweet the books with the codes all week, so people will see them. Then after new year's, I'll do another round of promotions for the codes. Finally, I'll do one last round before the code expire in mid January. These books will be the last time that I make any effort to promote for Smashwords titles as my sole vendor. As much as it kills me, I'm going to upload everything to Amazon. BUT, I'm not promoting either site. I'm sick of promoting people who do nothing in return to improve their site. I feel like I'm rewarding bad behavior with a promised return of further abuse heaped on me even though I'm still working FOR THEM.

I will continue to upload new titles, and I hope that one day, the service on at least one vendor improves enough where I can feel confidence promoting them. But at this point, I consider promoting Smashwords to be just as detestable a proposition as promoting Amazon. The size of the companies makes no difference to me when the quality of the customer care is exactly the same. Which is to say, non-existent.

And from now on, I don't care if I have a major tech problem with Smashwords, I'm not writing to them again. I might as well be writing to an autoresponder that answers every message with "Thank you for your interest, but at this time, we don't care what your opinion is. We like our product just fine. Go away now, and feel free to write to us when you need to be belittled and ignored again."

I just want one service using the word "empowering" would look it up in a dictionary before brutally mutilating its meaning in so vile a manner. Sorry for going emo on you, but you're looking at my last hope for a decent holiday run smashed.