A little elitist fit

I hate other geeks!
I am a geek. It's not something I'm ashamed of. I owned stacks and stacks of comic books. Just the other day I had a conversation over whether Captain America could beat Batman up (he could, unless the time and place had been predetermined, in which case Batman could plan ahead). I used to have tons of comic book collectible cards (although I got out of them back in like, 1994, I never wanted to get rid of them). I had a rather large collection of toys. I have every major video game console, and owned over 180 games before I got rid of the bulk of them when I moved to Arizona-- and that was only Playstation era and up Most people with that large a collection start at NES.
Having said that, there are an unfortunately large amount of things associated with geek culture that not only do I not understand, but bring out the inner bully in me and make me want to beat these kinds of geeks up.
* Anime I don't care how into anime you are. All anime looks the same. I'm sorry, it does. And this is coming from someone who can pinpoint comic book artists by looking at their work, someone who knows the difference between Monet and Degas, someone who briefly attempted to get into anime but just couldn't. It all looks the same. Now, to an obsessive, they look different, but I'm sure a toenail expert can tell you what toe a random clipping came from, but that means nothing to me. All anime looks the same. Period. And there are way too many giant robots, even in anime that has little to nothing to do with giant robots. And all anime uses the same voice actors. And there are too many demons that look stupid. And action anime characters always announce their moves when they do them. And what's up with all those speed lines? And why does all anime have the exact same sound effects? And what's up with monsters with tentacles? And if a virgin gets raped by a undead robot ninja demon, how is she still a virgin in the next episode? And the plots! Oh, god! The plots!
*The Fantasy Genre in General When I first saw a painting of a dragon, I thought it was pretty bad ass. And when I saw a painting of an awesome body builder with huge battle axes and hot topless chicks at his side, I thought it was pretty sweet. Then I turned fifteen and realized it was all just the same thing over and over again. Dragons, orcs, trolls, goblins, sorcerers, barbarians, valkryies, yadda yadda yadda. Who the hell cares?
*Dungeons and Dragons Right before I realized I hated the fantasy genre, I tried very briefly to get into D&D. But no matter who I played with and what class I was playing, I couldn't get over how shitty it was. "You come across a goblin, what do you do?" "I, uh, kill the goblin." *rolls dice* *rolls dice again* *more rolling of dice* "You missed. Now the goblin swings. What do you do?" "I uh... Try not to get hit?" *rolls dice* *rolls a different type of die* *rolls it again* "What's your stamina?" "Uh, 24." "And your defense?" "Uh, 17." "And your charisma?" "25." *flips through a book* *rolls another die* "Okay, you're dead." Sorry Brandon.. :(
*Magic: The Gathering Magic is pretty similar to the suckiness of the fantasy genre in general and D&D, except heightened by the fact that the rules are written in fucking Greek and make absolutely no goddamn sense. Yes, I did learn them, I also leaned quantum physics, that doesn't mean it isn't over complicated. Yes, hordes of Magic players will disagree that the rules to Magic are not overly complex, but then, there are people out there that have translated Hamlet into Klingon, so I don't give a shit what Magic geeks say. Again sorry Brandon :(
* Star Wars  On the one hand, I get why people obsess over it. There's an elaborate back universe to get lost in if you need to divert attention from your aging virginity, and the series has a crappy mumbo-jumbo philosophy to it for people who want to pretend they think about deep things. And I appreciate what Star Wars did to the movie industry. But, I mean, the series is a thinly-veiled attempt to sell shitty, low-grade action figures that only passingly look similar to their movie counterparts, and endless useless paraphernalia. At worst it's just corny and predictable.
*Star Trek Okay, what I don't understand is Trekkies. The original series was imaginative but too cheeseball for me to take seriously. Deep Space Nine was cool at first but quickly grew tiresome with its constant soap-opera-like melodrama. Voyager was basically just Next Generation Junior. And Enterprise, well, I don't even know when it came on. I understand it as entertainment, but not as a lifestyle thing.
*Cosplay See, I really don't have to explain why dressing up as characters that look ridiculous asfiction anyway and look even more ridiculous when you spend 20 bucks to look like them is idiotic. I really don't.
*Fan Fiction Yes, I've written a fan fiction. Two of them, in fact. But I do not warrant or endorse fan fiction. Nor do I particularly understand them. Especially the ones where the writers imagine romantic and/or erotic situations between two characters (particularly if they're homosexual). I think it's the whole Harlequin novel aspect. Reading Harlequin novels is pretty pathetic. Writing them when you're not being paid is even worse. If you're a good writer, why not just write something... You know... real? And if you're not a good writer... Why not watch TV some more?
*Vampires I know this is more of a Goth thing, but if you think about it, goths are just geeks that have a gloom fetish. Anyway, vampires are the most boring creatures in all of horror. They're just people. Except they're spoooky! And they all wear black! And drink blood! And nowadays, they're Victorian! And have emotional issues! Oh, brother.