Choices: Chapter 2

I suddenly found myself up there dancing with my wife, but I was no longer in the nightclub; we seemed to be on some kind of a cruise ship.

“Thanks for talking me into taking early retirement,” she whispered in my ear. “I’m having such a good time.”

I was confused. The red sequined party dress was one she had purchased specifically for the cruise, but I knew she’d never actually worn it. We’d had to cancel the trip when she got sick.

Maddie could see the confusion on my face. I pretended I hadn’t heard her because of the loud music.

My head was spinning. Maddie looked younger and so much alive, not showing any of the effects of the chemotherapy treatments. I felt like I was floating on a cloud. I knew it wasn’t real, but I desperately wanted it to be real.

“I want to go exploring when we get into port in the morning,” Maddie said.

I nodded my agreement.

We spent the rest of the night dancing. Maddie loved to dance. It was something I’d wished we’d done more of.

Our ship docked in the morning and we spent the day touring Las Palmas, one of the Canary Islands. A few days later, we docked in Barcelona. Maddie had always wanted to visit Spain. We were doing the things she’d said she always wanted to do.

Later that night, she complained that she’d developed a chest cold, probably due to the sea air. I knew that wasn’t the cause, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her.

Over the next several months, we did a lot of travelling. I was rushing to fit all of her dream vacations into a six-month period. I knew we were running out of time and I wanted to give her everything she deserved.

“How are we going to pay for all of this?” she asked.

“Don’t worry about the money,” I said. “We can’t take it with us after we die.”

She gave me a puzzled look, but it quickly disappeared when we started planning our next adventure.

Our fantasy dream life continued for a few more months, until she found out the chest congestion she’d been experiencing wasn’t just from allergies or the sea air. My eyes betrayed me.

“You knew, didn’t you?” she said.

I knew the reality. I knew it didn’t matter. The doctors had told us so. In real life, we’d found the cancer early, but it hadn’t made any difference. Numerous rounds of radiation and chemotherapy couldn’t save her.

“That’s why we’ve been taking all of these vacations and spending all of this money, isn’t it?”

“The money doesn’t matter,” I explained.

“Of course it does! We have to make sure the kids are taken care of. That’s our job, our most important job, and now you’ve put that in jeopardy.”

I gave her a hug and I could feel her trembling. “The kids will be fine,” I whispered. “They can take care of themselves.”

She pushed me away. “The boys can, but what about Sarah? She’s going to need help and we won’t be around to help her.”

Tears filled her eyes and she raced off to her bedroom.

I just stood there, not knowing what to do. All I had wanted to do was have the last few months of her life filled with joy and happiness, but instead I’d made things worse. I now realized I’d made the wrong choice.
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Published on May 16, 2019 18:21
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