fear factor

I don't know what it is about December that brings on the mood swings, but I've been all over the place lately.  I feel awake and alive in all sorts of uncomfortable and itchy ways.  Maybe there's some skin-shedding going on.

I'm at a tricky juncture in the new book. Some little while ago I decided to take a foolish narrative and philosophical risk but the funny thing about leaping off cliffs in novel writing is that it isn't a one-time event. You leap, and then the next day you have to leap again, and again and again, in order to stay out there in that zone of madness.  It's like freaking plyometrics.  Hard to work up the energy for that every single day.  No wonder I need so much chocolate.

But most of my time this week has been devoted to trying to get ahead of the game in math.  I had to change my course program and I'm not getting to do the Astronomy course yet, after all.  I need to do MST209 first, which is the precursor maths for proper physics.  Guess how scared I am?

(I went to look for stock photos of scared people. More men in suits looking scared. And women being stalked on their way to their cars.  Oh, internet. Fuck you.)

So, lacking a graphic image of my state of mind I will just say that my plans for a spring marathon have been deferred because something had to give.  I'll be carrying 90 credits from February, and it's not going to include the 60 credits of fairly-straightforward general science of last year.  I was really quite lax with that course and mostly got away with it.  It's going to be 90 credits of mathcad and calculus problems about particles and springs OH GOD WHAT HAVE I GOT MYSELF INTO??????

Ahem.  Sorry.  See what I mean?  I'm like a Peanuts cartoon without Snoopy.

In lighter news, we have a professional boxer coming to the barn for a private lesson with Steve today, which should liven things up.  And hey, now that I think about it my problems are all phantoms faced down from the comfort of a chair.  Beanbag, even.  I don't actually have to get in the ring and take a physical battering.  So there's that. 

Oi, I think I just cheered myself up!