The Year I Left by Christina Bae
The Year I Left, by Christina Bae, is a contemporary romance about a woman’s struggle to find happiness.
The book is separated into 3 parts. The first part, My Fall and Winter, introduces Carin Frost, a successful CEO, wife, and mother of one. But despite her perceived success, she is clinically depressed, going through the motions of everyday life, losing her will to live with each passing day. That changes, however, when she meets Matias, handsome man who’ll help her close a rather important deal. They work together for a little while, flirting with each other and dealing with their own conflicting feelings, before inadvertently falling in love with each other. The second part, Our Spring and Summer, describes the aftermath of the choices both Carin and Matias have made for each other. It also depicts Carin’s struggles between the cruelty of life, and the beauty of living a lie. The final part, You One Year Later, shows what happens when both Carin and Matias finally come to terms with their previous lives. It introduces the hope that their romance could bloom unhindered, without any distractions or deceptions. Bae tells the story of a couple of who both fell from societal grace, as they searched for something to fulfill a longing only love could fill.
Honestly, I found Carin and Matias lacking as characters, especially Carin. It just seemed a bit too unrealistic to me for Carin would leave everything behind, just to follow Matias and his whims. However, the dynamic between the two made up for it. What’s more, I could certainly see myself in Carin. The fact she felt she had to stay strong for her son’s sake, that she had to achieve all these materialistic things but she still wasn’t happy; her own troubles is similar to the troubles many other people face when they feel like they’ve finally gotten what they wanted. Because it wasn’t enough.
And this reflects one of the concepts of the book; that if a person has enough stuff, or has enough wealth, they’d be happy. If they have bigger houses, or gifted children, or loving spouses, or successful business, they could achieve the happiness they wanted. It’s a rude awakening then, when they realize that it’s all for naught. That even if they do have these things, they still aren’t happy. They still aren’t fulfilled.
This couples with the fact that both Carin and Matias recognizes this, and as such, tries to cast it aside for each other. They did this, and they were happy. But they still knew they were living a lie. It’s this sort of false happiness that suffocates them in the end, and causes them to leave. They both knew it was wrong. And with all the responsibilities she’s had, she knew neither of them could stay there forever. But Matias saw it differently. While he knew this in his mind, in his heart, he continued to let himself live that lie, that somehow, someway, they could stay there with each other for as long as they wanted. Even so, it’s still a cage. It’s different from the other cages that both Carin and Matias were stuck in. It’s a peaceful, beautiful paradise, but it’s a cage nonetheless.
While I didn’t find the characters enjoyable to read, the relationship was worth it in the end. The theme of happiness in the book was represented wonderfully, and the romance was overall wholehearted. As such, I would give this book a 3.5 out of 5.0 stars, and would recommend it to those who enjoy romance in general.
