Spring is in the Air

I love this time of year. Spring, the season of rebirth and reawakening. This transitional period and the one from summer to fall are a must experience in the North East. With the outdoors coming back to life, I’m feeling a sense of renewal too. This year, the seasonal changes have resonated with me more than ever before.

This is the first year in fifteen years that I didn’t greet winter kicking and screaming. And this is the first time ever that I’m seeing Spring for what it is – a season of shedding old ways in order to reawaken without the burden of the past.

I didn’t always think of seasonal changes as markers for personal changes. Until recently, I dreaded winter, was lukewarm about Spring because let’s face it, in New York, its still too cold to enjoy the outdoors which leave Fall and Summer – both way too short for my liking.

Next month marks my fifteen years anniversary as a New Yorker. What? Yup and
I couldn’t be happier with my decision to move here. But I didn’t always feel
this way.

Believe it or not, for a handful of years, I hated the very city I had
fought so hard to move to because the gray skies depressed me and the cold weather
chilled me to the bone. No matter how many layers I wore, I was still cold and uncomfortable.
I felt isolated and lonely.

Don’t get me wrong, the first snow fall is as magical as it looks in Hallmark movies. The silence that transcends over the city after a snowstorm is better than any app or gadget promising white noise for relaxation. I cherish these moments as much as everyone else. But these moments were fleeting and certainly weren’t enough to sustain me for an entire season.

The winter blues kicked my butt hard.

In my heart, I knew I was meant to be in New York for a while longer so
bailing wasn’t an option. Besides, I’m no quitter. I was determined to make it
work and I knew something needed to change in order for me to be happy. Well
that something was me because that’s the only thing I could change. Everything
else was out of my control.

At first, I filled the weekends with everything under the sun. I signed up for knitting classes in the city at an old church, I joined a book club with women I’ve never met, dance classes, yoga classes, tours of old neighborhoods in New York … you name it, I did it. With the exception of knitting, I enjoyed everything else. And I met a ton of new cool people.

Over a decade later, the winters have become easier to deal with and I’m no
longer looking to fill every moment of the day with something to do in order to
avoid being cooped up inside. I’ve embraced the quietness and solitude that
comes with this season. Instead of hating on winter, I’ve come to appreciate
the downtime it offers for personal passion projects, family time and the
freedom from commitments.

Maintaining a daily ritual of gratitude and meditation helped me find joy in all things – even winter. More importantly, gratitude grounded me and armed me from falling apart when real tough situations unfolded … like being diagnosed with arthritis in both hands, the scare of breast cancer and losing my job in the same month, the passing of my father-in-law and more recently, the passing of my Aunt.

Living with gratitude is a constant reminder that life is good and I’m lucky
to wake up every morning and experience it. During frustrating moments, I
literally write down everything I’m grateful for no matter how small. It all
counts.

When I sat with my list a while back, I felt humbled by my own words in my journal. Somehow I overlooked some of the highs along the way. This is one of the reasons I’m a huge fan of keeping a journal and committing to writing in it on a regular basis. It serves as a reminder when we’re caught up in our own swirl. My journal entry reminded me that fifteen years ago, I courageously moved three thousands miles away from home in pursuit of a dream to live in New York and because of that decision, I’ve met some incredible friends that I would never have met otherwise. Ten years ago, Brian and I got married at an old estate not too far from where we currently live on Long Island. Eight and half years ago, I gave birth to our son and twelve months later, I gave birth to our daughter. Yup, they’re twelve months and 3 days apart. Four years ago, my first novel, A Leap In Time, was published and I proudly checked one thing from my bucket list. Shortly after that, Chasing Zen blog was established. A few months ago, my second novel, A Christmas Wish, was published. Five years ago, I checked off two more things on my bucket list by traveling to Australia and New Zealand thanks to a work project.

I’m certain none of these events would have happened had I lived anywhere else because my journey would have completely changed and taken me on a different path.

When I look at my highlight reel, the good outweighs any hurdles along the way.

I don’t pretend that life has been easy and without challenges because that’s not true by any stretch. I don’t pretend to be giddy during the winter season because that’s not true either. I’m also not going to pretend that tough situations don’t exist or that toxic people don’t slither their way into my space. But I can honestly say that changing my thought pattern has changed the way I react to tough situations and because of that, my life is forever changed for the better.

We all have a highlight reel. We all have incredible highs and gut wrenching
lows. It’s easy to be happy when everything is going right. That’s a no
brainer. It’s choosing to be happy and optimistic when life sucks. That’s the
real hard work. If you believe in the law of attraction, like I do, then you
know that misery attracts more misery and gratitude attracts more things to be
grateful for and so on and so forth.

Choose gratitude even when life throws you curve balls. Choose gratitude even when a door closes to something you wanted more than anything in the world. Choose gratitude even when you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

The road of self-pity is long and miserable and once you’re on it, it’s hard work to change course because the ripple effect of the negative thoughts are like a strong running current, pulling more negativity along the way. You have nothing to lose by exploring an alternative way of thinking and practicing gratitude. Commit to writing three things you’re grateful for and do it every single day. Do it for a week. Every time you slip into a funk or a negative thought worms its way into your conscious, remember your list. Be diligent, don’t give up and be kind to yourself when you slip up.

I hope my experience has resonated with you and helped you in any way.

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