Grammar Wives’ Tales: Rules You Can Break

You can’t end a sentence with a preposition.
You can’t begin a sentence with a conjunction.
You can’t split an infinitive.
Yes, you can.
Yes, you can.
Yes, you can.
I don’t know whether you would really want to call them wives’ tales, but there are some grammar “rules” that are going by the wayside. But lest you think that now anything goes . . . these rules are few and far between.
I will begin with this caveat: Yes, a few “rules” have become less strict. However, bending the rules applies mostly to those who are writing fiction or creative nonfiction. And bending the rules always applies to those who know the rules. Moreover, if I were writing a business letter asking for a job, or a letter applying to college, I would take the conservative route and not bend the rules.
Most grammar and punctuation rules you wouldn’t think of breaking:
You wouldn’t leave off the ending quotes in a quotation because you felt like it – She said, “It is nice out today.
You wouldn’t write using a misplaced modifier – Reading a book by the window, the cat stretched.
You wouldn’t put a colon at the end of a question – What are you doing:
You wouldn’t use the wrong verb form (unless where appropriate in dialog) – He work yesterday. I seen a ghost last night.
You wouldn’t leave out the comma in a date: I was born on March 3 1986.
You wouldn’t begin a sentence with a lowercase letter. three dogs sat on the porch.
But there are some rules that are flexible if you bend them for a reason.
You can end a sentence with a preposition. Sometimes it sounds awkward not to: Whom is the gift for? For whom is the gift?
You can start a sentence with a conjunction if you think it makes sense to: He heard a noise in the closet. And then he carefully opened the door.
You can split an infinitive, although they are generally split by adverbs, and adverbs are out of style: He asked me to slowly shut the door.
You can use or not use the Oxford (series) comma. However, be consistent in its use in the same piece of writing: I have applies, pears, and peaches. I have apples, pears and peaches. (I always use it and advise others to use it too.)
You can take some liberty with your use of commas – sometimes: Of course, I want to go with you. Of course I want to go with you. He told us sadly that he had lost his job. He told us, sadly, that he had lost his job. (used here for emphasis)
You can take some liberty in your use of the ellipsis, which is supposed to be used to either indicate trailing off at the end of the sentence or indicate missing words. However, you can sometimes use it to slow down tempo. She saw him . . . she slowly approached him . . . she tried to speak to him. You could use periods or dashes, but ellipses seem to work here.
You can sometimes use sentence fragments for effect. They are often used in promotional writing. She prepared a special cake for him, which took her all day to make. So much effort for nothing.
Run on sentences – or comma splices – are a different story. Many writers use them. I don’t, and I won’t. Oh, maybe for fiction I would in the right circumstances. She spilled all the jellybeans, she tried to pick them up, she ended up hiding them under the rug. Please remember that you can’t really connect sentences with then; it is not a conjunction and results in a comma splice (that hardly anyone will notice). She spilled all the jellybeans, then she tried to pick them up.
You can (and probably should at this point) use the singular they. I have up to this point refused, but using he or she instead sometimes isn’t even accurate anymore. The best way to deal with the singular they is to rewrite the sentence to avoid the issue, which generally can be done easily: Everyone should bring his or her towel. Everyone should bring their towel (singular they; I still don’t like it). Everyone should bring a towel. (easy workaround)
You might wonder why I haven’t had much Grammar Diva News lately. It’s because I haven’t had much Grammar Diva news lately! I have a draft written of my latest book (memoir) and plans to write a business-writing book next year. However, I am in the midst of selling my house and moving cross country (to be near my daughter), so I haven’t had the time or the brainpower to do much except my blog posts! When I am settled, I will be back to work in ernest again!