How to avoid writing a novel (or anything else): 15 tips even you can follow

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If you feel like you are in danger of writing a novel and your life has become unmanageable, here are 15 easy tips to get your writing life back under control:
1. Wait for the exact moment for inspiration to strike.
2. Update your facebook status.
3. Wait until you've had a stellar night's sleep and you are in tip-top condition.
4. Check your facebook newsfeed.
5. Surf the Net for inspirational stories that will help with your novel.
6. Check to see if anybody's written any new reviews about your last book.
7. Check facebook.
8. Answer all outstanding emails.
9. Read the Globe and Mail book section online and imagine somebody reviewing your novel.
10. Write a new facebook status.
11. Visualize your book tour.
12. Compose answers to interview questions about how much of your novel is autobiographical.
13. Check facebook.
14. Play 20 games of spider solitaire to calm your conscious mind so your subconscious mind can work on plot details.
15. Check facebook.
AND when all else fails: write a blog about how to avoid writing your novel.